Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 68286 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 273(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68286 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 273(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Luke shrugs, his gaze roaming over my face. "How'd the condoms work out?"
What? I'm stunned. He can't ask me that. I look at him, but he's not backing down in the slightest. He's staring at me like he expects I'll answer him.
"I haven't used them yet." I'm not sure why I'm answering this man. His question is so out of line. Yet I feel compelled to respond to him.
"Are you going to?"
What exactly is he asking me? If I'm planning on having sex? Or if I'm planning on being safe when I have sex?
"Yes."
He's silent now. His jaw ticks.
"You've waited a long time."
"I have." Where is he going with this?
"Is he worth it?" Luke's eyes are dark, yet his expression is curious.
Oh. That's where he's going with this conversation. Some kind of parental 'does he respect you' second-guessing. I'm twenty-one. I don't need this from him.
"Maybe it's not about him. Maybe it's about me." I'm angry now. Who is he to question me about any of this? And why am I answering him? Because of my misplaced lust?
A car honks outside and my attention is diverted from Luke's face. Mike is outside, idling in the no-parking lane, trying to get my attention.
"Is that him?" Luke is standing even closer than he was before.
"Yes."
"Sophie—"
I cut him off. I've had enough of this. "Thanks, Dr. Miller, for everything. I'll use the condoms, I promise. I'll even YouTube directions so I don't screw it up, okay? So don't worry
about me. I've got it covered." I laugh. "Literally, I'll make sure it's covered, okay?"
He looks surprised. Does no one call him on his bullshit?
"My ride is here." I shake my head. "My boyfriend is here." I correct myself. "Thank you for your help with my grandfather and your repeated safe-sex talks. I promise you I will not show
up at the clinic knocked up."
"Sophie." Now Luke sounds pissed. What the hell is he pissed about? I don't care for his tone. Who is this man to me? No one. Mike is outside waiting for me. Mike who never gives me
mixed signals. Mike who makes it clear he wants me. Mike who is not an inappropriate match.
"Thanks, Dr. Miller. Goodbye." I walk away.
Chapter 7
"Let's go!" Everly sings out as the door swings shut behind her. She's grinning at me as if we have exciting plans. She's just walked into my dorm room unannounced, coat on, black hair
pulled into a low pony tail. She's ready to go.
I'm lying across my bed cuddling a textbook for my business ethics class. I'm ready to go nowhere.
"Where are we going?" I ask. I'm pretty sure I know, but I am the queen of denial.
Incidentally, my ex-boyfriend Scott is now very happily dating. A personal trainer, named James. I saw them once on 34th Street, holding hands and laughing about some shared joke. They'd
looked happy and I'd felt a wave of jealousy. Not over Scott. I'd always known on some level that we were just coasting together—Scott until he came out of the closet and me until I felt
willing to take the next step. Because that step? It's a risk.
My mom got pregnant at sixteen. I have no idea how careful she was or wasn't. From what I remember of her she wasn't careful about anything. All I know is that I never want to be her. I
never want to repay my grandparents for taking me in and raising me by repeating that cycle. And I never want to put myself in a position where I'd have to choose between abortion,
adoption or asking for help.
Sex was one big risk. Is that paranoid? To avoid sex on the small chance that the pill would fail and I'd end up pregnant? Maybe. But my early years left a big impact on me. I’m not
going there, so Luke can shove his safe-sex speeches up his ass. I’m the last girl who needs to hear it.
So when I saw Scott and his boyfriend on the street that day I felt a little wistful over what they had together. Who doesn't want that?
Mike has been flirting with me since junior year. I ignored him, mostly. It wasn't that serious. He was always with one girl or another. When we started classes this fall we ended up in
Business Ethics together and this time when he flirted, I encouraged it.
"You know where we're going, Sophie. Your pubes are not going to wax themselves,” Everly says, interrupting my thoughts.
"Please never say the word pubes again."
Everly grabs a hoodie off the back of my chair and tosses it at me. "Let's go. We have appointments."
"How'd you get in the building anyway?" I ask as I pull on my old Uggs and grab my bag.
"I bumped into Jeannie out front, she buzzed me in."