Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
I can't stop staring at her as I carry her through the room. As much as I expect to have violent anger coursing through me, I don't. I'm too heartbroken to feel anything. I swallow as I pass Caleb's body. I can't manage to glance at him again. Stopping next to Marney, I whisper, "Get him."
He stares at me with his face drowned in pity.
"Get my brother, Marney," I say sternly. "I'm not gonna leave him here like this."
Marney draws in a large breath and kneels to pick up Caleb's body. The entire way back to the exit, we walk in silence. I clutch Tor tighter with each step I take. Once outside, I climb into the backseat and hold her in my lap. I hear the trunk slam shut. I know what Marney just did, but I block that out and focus solely on her.
Tor’s limp body is sprawled across the back seat, her head in my lap. I stroke her hair and try not to think of Caleb. I can’t, because if I do, I feel like I might break, and that is not a fucking option right now.
“How much further?” I ask hoarsely, staring at Tor. She’s not once come to. Every few seconds her breathing stops, and everything inside of me tenses. I need her to live. I need her.
I hear Marney’s phone ring, and his hushed words, but I don’t listen. I stare at her bruised and battered face, the ragged and torn t-shirt that barely covers her broken body. I failed them both.
Five minutes later we’re pulling into the roundabout in front of some backwoods emergency room. I climb out, cradling Tor in my arms, and shut the door. Marney speeds off and I walk toward the sliding glass doors of the emergency room.
As soon as I set foot inside the entrance it seems as though everyone in the waiting room falls silent and stares at us. "Help me, please," I beg.
The nurse in the triage station slowly rises to her feet while another rushes from the room toward me. Everything hits me at once. I'm strong, but I am not strong enough for this shit. My breath catches and my muscles go weak.
"I need a gurney!" the nurse shouts.
I shake my head. "I'll carry her. Just help me. Please!"
My pulse throbs through my temples. The nurse's eyes rise to meet mine, and she swallows, pointing toward the metal doors. I follow her into a room where I lay Tor down. I watch staff swarm around her, pushing me to the back of the room. They don't miss a second, they don't ask any questions. They immediately hook her up to equipment and check her over. I slump against the wall and slide to the floor because I can't stand any longer. Everything fucking hits me at once.
"What happened to her?" someone asks me.
I don't glance up. I keep my eyes trained on the floor as I say, "She was taken. And attacked..."
One nurse scurries out into the hallway shouting for another doctor. I wonder if I should have just killed her when she walked into my office instead of forcing her to endure this fucking nightmare I call life. There's no way she will ever forget what she's been through. And part of me feels it would be best for her not to struggle with the memory of it all for the rest of her life. Sometimes death seems like a gracious option, but selfishly, all I care about is that I have her.
The next morning I startle awake in the hospital chair. Tor’s asleep. She’s still not conscious enough to know I’m here. All night all I could think about was my brother. If I let it, it could easily consume me, and part of me wishes it would. I glance up at Tor, checking the monitor. She survived. The longer I stare at her, sadness turns to anger. My breaths grow harder and deeper. I can either let Caleb’s death kill me, or I can kill the fucker who took his life. I failed Caleb. I cannot fail her.
All I can hear is the repetitive beeping from somewhere beside me. Everything hurts as I struggle to drag my eyes open. I blink against the blinding fluorescent lights as I try to assess my surroundings. I'm on a bed. Turning my head towards the beeping, I find a heart monitor, the green line spiking across the screen. A hospital. I'm in a hospital. My head is foggy, and I struggle to remember how I got here. The last thing I remember... I swallow as bile rises in my throat. The last thing I remember is Joe. Shame and disgust crawl over my skin like a swarm of insects. I close my eyes and press my head back against the pillow as images flash through my mind. All I can see is Caleb's small smile right before Joe put a bullet in his head. A pain I didn't know existed consumes me from the inside out, a grief so intense, that even my mother's death seems like a walk in the park. Several tears slip down my cheek as I think of him. I rub my palm over my heart as I gasp for breath. I feel as though I won't ever be whole again. Caleb was a bright light in this dark and ugly world, and now he's gone, and I'm free-falling into this pit of despair. I wish Joe had just let me die.