Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Another explosion echoes through the air, and then... silence.
The warm water gently washes against my ankles as I splash through the shallow surf. I've become that classic pregnant woman with swollen ankles and feet. I still have three weeks to go, but I'm so done with being pregnant. I'm emotionally and physically done. I'm trying, I'm really trying, but I'd be lying if I said it isn't hard without Jude. I feel as though he's the other half of me, and the separation from him is slowly killing me. Maybe he was right? Maybe I should let him go, but how can I when I have his child inside me? It's impossible.
I make my way back along the beach. Marney and I have developed somewhat of a routine living here. We eat lunch on the back deck together every day. Ever since Jude rescued me, Marney and I have been close, but these last few months have surpassed that. He looks after me, and although it's not his forte, he tries to make me feel better about Jude not being here. I appreciate his efforts, even if they are fruitless. The main thing though, is that I know he will love Jude's daughter like a grandchild, because Jude is like a son to him. I think he secretly likes our settled lifestyle. Much like Jude, he's always lived a criminal life, looking over his shoulder every two seconds. He's not young anymore, and being here, we don't have to watch our backs.
I walk up the steps that lead to the back deck, and open the French doors leading into the kitchen. Marney isn't here, which is odd. He's always in the kitchen at this time. I go in search of him, and move towards the living room. The TV is on. As soon as I hear what's coming from it, I pause in the doorway. Marney is sitting on the sofa, leaning forward, and listening intently to what's being said.
On the screen is a woman with a microphone standing in front of what appears to be an over-turned prison vehicle.
"At three-thirty this afternoon, this detentions service vehicle veered off the road and crashed into the ditch. It is unclear at this point what caused the accident, although another vehicle was involved. The vehicle was transporting three high security criminals, Marcus Banes, Romero Gonzales, and Jude Pearson, who were being transferred to a maximum security prison."
My heart instantly starts to beat furiously against my ribs.
"Banes, Pearson and two prison officers were killed, their families have been informed. It's believed that the third prisoner, Gonzales escaped. A police search is now taking place. I'm Jennifer..."
I slide down the edge of the doorframe. He's dead. It feels like someone has grabbed my heart in their hand and is squeezing. He's dead. I will never see him again, never hear his voice. That's when I lose it and break down crying. I didn't have much with him, the occasional phone call, distant memories, but those moments when he would tell me he loved me... the words were said from what felt like a million miles away, but they still touched me, they still gave me a reason to keep going, to be strong.
When Caleb died, the pain was unfathomable, but I could block it out, make myself numb. This... I can't block this out. It feels like someone is ramming a knife in my chest and twisting it back and forth.
I'm aware of Marney next to me, but I can't respond to his concerned words.
"You'll be okay, sweetheart," he says. There are only so many times that a person can keep being okay.
I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling fan. Hands are pushing against my stomach, feeling around. I grit my teeth as another wave of pain locks around my torso.
"This could be a false labour," the woman says in a heavy island accent.
"Well, what the hell does that mean?" Marney sounds panicked.
"It means she might go into labour, or it could be a false alarm. Her water hasn't broken yet," she explains.
"Is the baby okay? Shit. Why is she going into labour? She's supposed to have another couple of weeks." Marney paces in the corner.
"It could be caused by any number of things, but in this case I'm going to say it's stress."
I can feel her eyes on me. She came by last week to check on me, and Marney turned her away, explaining why.
"The baby will be fine either way."
There's a moment of silence, and I know they are both looking at me, but my gaze remains fixed on the swirling blades of the ceiling fan. I know I should be worried or something, but I just... can't. All I can think about is him, and I can't seem to climb out of this black hole I'm in, the more I try, the more pointless everything seems. Another contraction comes, and it has me hunching forward slightly, gritting my teeth through the pain. God, I'm not ready for this. I can't do this. I need... I need Jude. And it's every time I have a thought like that, I have to remind myself he's gone, and my chest feels like it's being ripped apart all over again. So, no, I'm not ready. My daughter deserves more than what I can give her right now, but it looks like I may not have a choice.