Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
"And I will tell you what I told them," I snap. "I love him. He didn't rape me, or manipulate me." I don't know how to explain this to her. "We were two people thrown into a situation against our will, and... It wasn't planned." It's true. I never in a million years thought I would love Jude, but sometimes, life throws the unexpected at you.
Lizzy fiddles with her watch, something she does when she's nervous. "Ria...”
"I said, don't call me that," I say too quickly. Shit. I drag my hand through my hair.
"Victoria." She hesitates. "I know you say you were thrown into the situation, but he held you hostage. He should never have done that." She says it as though I can't see this. I can.
"You wouldn't understand."
Her eyes flick to my throat again, the ugly scar my most visible, but certainly not the most awful, because that one I did to myself.
"I think." She takes a deep breath. "I think maybe you should talk to someone." She flashes me a small smile.
I get up and turn away from her as I leave the room. "I'm not crazy, and I'm not talking to someone." I snap.
She will never understand this.
I'm sat in the window seat of Lizzy's snug with a book on my lap though I can't register what's written on the pages. It's been a month. A long month without Jude, or Marney, or anyone. I've heard nothing.
I've tried to call the prison where he's being held, but they won't allow me to speak to him or see him given the situation. Lizzy has tried to make me speak to various shrinks, and I tell them all the same thing, I'm not crazy, and I don't have Stockholm syndrome, but as time goes on, I'm starting to question even myself.
I mean, if someone has Stockholm syndrome, surely they are unaware of it? Maybe I just don't want to think of myself as one of those people, because I've always thought it’s a load of bullshit, fabricated by weak women who fall at the feet of abusive men. Isn't that exactly what I did though? The problem is; I can't stop loving Jude. It's like I need him, as though my body and soul are physically grieving his absence.
The doorbell sounds, reverberating through the house. I frown and put the book down on a side table.
I move to the front door, and open it to a very well dressed man. His suit looks expensive, and the brand new Mercedes on the drive verifies this.
"Miss Devaux?" He has this professional manner about him, but with a hard edge.
"Yes."
"I'm Robert McKinley, Jude Pearson's attorney."
I swallow hard. This is it.
He reaches into his suit pocket and hands me an envelope. "Jude asked that I give this to you and that you do exactly as it says." He takes a deep breath and frowns. "There's nothing you can do to save him. You need to focus on saving yourself." He turns and walks back down the drive, leaving me standing in the entrance with the envelope in my hand.
My fingers shake as I stare at the inconspicuous white envelope, my name scrawled across the front. I close my eyes and take a steadying breath before a rip the envelope open and read the words that shatter me.
Tor,
I love you. Know that above all else. You gave me something I never knew I wanted or needed until you were dumped in my office, scared, but fighting with every breath. I’ve had weeks to sit here and do nothing aside from think. All I think about is you. I miss you. Fuck do I miss you. I promised you I would protect you, and I always will, no matter where I am. Now though, you have to protect our daughter, because I can't. That means letting me go.
I'm going to jail, and nothing you say or do will help me. They will call you as a witness, and you need to testify against me. Tell them the truth. Do not lie for me.
You were kidnapped.
I held you hostage.
Everything you said, did, or witnessed was against your will.
I killed Joe, and you will testify to that.
Most importantly, you do not love me. I raped you, which is why you are pregnant.
Everything you did was to survive. Tor that is the end of it. This is the only thing I ask of you. I need you to be there for our daughter, because I can't, and she will need her mother. I would have given you both the fucking world, and I failed you... I'm sorry. You are my everything.
I love you,
Jude
My knees give out and I hunch over on my sister's marble floor, my very soul feeling like it's bleeding from me. My chest heaves on frantic sobs as tears pour down my face, staining the paper in my hand. How could he ask this of me? He wants me to paint him as a monster.