Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
I grit my teeth as my mind tries to drag up the memories. I squeeze my eyes shut, and dig my nails into his shoulders. "Again," I whisper.
I feel his lips trace up the side of my neck, and his teeth gently skim my earlobe. "I love you," he rumbles. My eyes snap open, and then I'm pulling him to me. I want him on me, in me, possessing me, consuming me in every way. I want him to erase every bad memory I have and forge new ones.
"I love you," I gasp against his lips before he slams them over mine. His bare torso presses against me, his warm skin like silk beneath my touch. He lifts away from me, but his lips never leave mine. I hear the clink of his belt buckle before I hear a heavy thud as it hits the floor. His hands work over me, touching, caressing, teasing. My skin breaks out in goosebumps and trembles beneath his soft touch.
For the first time since it happened, I don't crave something besides the rage and the numbness. I don't want to shut him out. I want him connected to me in every possible way. I want to feel again.
His hands stroke over me as he places small kisses over my face. "You're so fucking beautiful, Tor," he growls. "Every fucking bit of you." His weight settles back between my thighs briefly before he pulls away and watches me. His eyes never leave mine as his hands run confidently up my thighs.
My breath hitches when his fingers brush across my underwear. He slips one underneath the material, caressing me. A small smile pulls at his lips; it's part pride, and part male satisfaction.
I squeeze my eyes shut as a thousand feelings bombard me at once, waging a war inside my head. Jude's lips are at my ear, his hand cupping my cheek. "Breathe," he whispers to me.
"I want you."
It's true. I want him; I want this. This isn't going to be easy, it was never going to be, but I need this, I want this. Only he can do this for me. He can heal a part of me that I can't heal myself. He nods and moves away from me, slowly sliding my underwear down my legs.
He settled between my thighs again, but I sit up and stop him with a hand on his chest. "You need... you need to use something," I mumble, drawing my knees to my chest as I keep my eyes fixed on the bed. "I don't know... they didn't..." I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut, unable to say the words: I might have HIV. "I'm not clean." Tears prickle my eyes, but I bite the inside of my cheek to keep them at bay.
I feel a finger under my chin. "Open your eyes," he orders. I slowly open them, meeting his hard gaze. "You are fucking clean." He presses his lips to mine, and slowly parts my thighs again, pushing me back on the bed.
"Jude," I object, mumbling against his lips.
He kisses me harder, silencing me. He kisses me until I'm breathless, my skin heated. The hot skin of his hips presses against the insides of my thighs, and I feel his cock push against me. I tense, but he's right there, his soft voice soothing me. And then, he's inside me.
I wait for the fear to come, but it never does, because this is nothing like what happened to me with Joe. This isn't violent or degrading. This is Jude. He touches his forehead to mine, his hand cupping my face. He makes me feel his love, and in doing so, he takes away the pain. He takes away everything by giving me him.
I cling to his biceps as he rolls his hips against me slowly. His lips are everywhere, but his hand never leaves my face, and his eyes never leave mine. He makes me feel protected, safe, cherished in ways that I never thought possible.
His muscles tense as he restrains himself, and a low groan leaves his lips. "Fuck, I've missed you." He breathes against my mouth.
I've missed him too. I've missed us.
His lips trail down my throat as he moves over me. My body slowly softens to him, and tension gives way to pleasure.
My hands move to his back, my nails digging into his skin as a small moan slips from my lips. His breath is hot on my neck, his touch soft, but demanding enough to let me know just how much he wants this.
"You're mine, Tor. No one can take you from me," he growls.
"Fuck me," I beg. "Come inside me." I need him to mark me, claim me, remove all traces of Joe from my body. His muscles tense as he tries to hold back. "Please," I whisper against his lips.