Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
‘Mr Ward, you’re misunderstanding. I’m talking about a device of some sort. A phone or iPad. There are some really helpful apps that would be great for Ava.’ The doctor leaves his keyboard and hands me a pile of pamphlets, which I take slowly. ‘Ava will want to gain some independence back, I’m sure.’ He looks at Ava, though I don’t. All she needs is me. ‘She may forget things, small things that happened just a day before, or even an hour. It’s common.’ He smiles reassuringly, though I’m far from reassured.
There have been a few occasions when she’s forgotten things. Small things. Things I have told her that have disappeared from her mind, and I’ve had to tell her again.
‘With the help of a smartphone or similar, Ava can set herself reminders for key commitments, make notes, et cetera, to help her with everyday tasks. I’m sure she doesn’t want to rely on you for everything, and it’s important for her to have a sense of self-awareness and worth. She has to get back to her life, whether the memories come or do not.’
I’m fucking staggered. ‘Are you suggesting I just leave her to figure this all out on her own?’ The man’s a twat.
Dr Peters smiles. I’m close to wiping it from his face. ‘Mr Ward, if there is one thing I know for sure, it’s that you will never let her figure it all out on her own. But you must give her space to breathe.’ With that, he stands, and it’s all I can do not to jump across the desk and take him out. Is he having a dig? ‘I’d like to see you again in a few weeks, Ava. Have a look at the literature I’ve given your husband. There are support groups available to you, people you can talk with who are in the same boat. We’ll discuss at your next appointment once you’ve had a chance to read the information.’
Support group? Meet new people who understand? I’m hating this more and more each minute. She doesn’t need new people, she has me. I’m her support.
Ava’s up before I am, encouraging me to stand. ‘Thank you.’
‘Very welcome.’
I don’t thank him but rather wander out silently, my head ringing. Space to breathe? That’s never been my strong point, and it’s something Ava has got used to. I’m set in my ways, and changing that has proved tricky since the moment she came around. I’ve struggled, but held out hope that it was temporary. That we would return to our normal eventually. The prospect of having to adapt and permanently change my ways is daunting. And I honestly question whether I’m capable. Where does that leave us?
Chapter 43
The journey home is silent. Uncomfortable. I draw breath a thousand times to ask Ava what’s whirling around in her mind, but each time I think better of it. Maybe because I’m worried about what she might say. Does she want more space? Does she think I’m crowding her too much? Does she hate me for sending the kids away so I could focus on discovering us again? Question after question mounts until my head is pounding. ‘Ava—’ I’m interrupted by her phone ringing, and she answers rather than letting it ring off and giving me her attention. My hands flex around the steering wheel, irritation heating my bloodstream.
‘Hi!’ She sounds happy all of a sudden. ‘Yes, definitely.’ She laughs, and I frown, wondering who’s on the line. Kate’s in hospital. ‘I’ll see you there.’ She hangs up and looks at me. ‘What were you going to say?’
My mind is blank. ‘Who was that?’
‘Oh, Zara.’ She slips her phone into her bag. Zara. The friend from yoga. The woman putting stupid ideas in my wife’s head about getting another job. ‘You must meet her. She’s fab.’
I bite my tongue before we end up in an argument. It’s probably best I never meet Zara. I can’t guarantee I’ll hold back from putting her straight on a few things. ‘Sure.’
When we pull up the driveway, I’m about to unleash some of the questions mounting, but Ava speaks first, stopping me in my tracks. ‘Whose car is that?’ she asks, pointing forward, spurring me to look.
Ava’s parents’ Land Rover is parked up, and the front door is wide open. ‘The kids are home.’ Excitement mixed with apprehension swirls in my gut as I roll to a stop. I have no idea how this will play out. How will Ava be? How will the kids be? ‘You okay?’
‘Yeah.’ Her answer is quiet as she gets out of the car, hovering by the door for a few moments after she’s shut it. I remain in my seat, bracing myself for the reunion. I mustn’t get emotional. I mustn’t give the kids any cause to worry. On a deep breath, I exit the car and circle it to collect Ava. She smiles at me when I take her hand. ‘Ready?’