Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 84250 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84250 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
"Momma! Look! Pwetty!"
"It is pretty,” I tell her, pulling the keys from my pocket and unlocking the front door.
I see the glow of lights in the first inch of the cracked door, but it doesn't register what it is until it's already too late and Larkin is running into the house and squealing in delight.
I don't know how to feel right now. My daughter's joy brings me happiness but at the same time, this is taking meddling a little too far. Not to mention the fact that someone had to access the sanctity of my home to set this up.
I only have to glance at him once to understand that he's the one who did this, and it isn't until the smile spreads across his face that I realize this is his response to my complaint this morning about the Christmas tree. I called at lunch and by some miracle, I did pay the storage bill last month so I didn't lose all the things I brought with me from El Paso. It's not even my stuff but things it was expected of me as Hux's wife to remove from his housing unit after his death.
"I don't know if I should be irate with you or if I should tell you thank you,” I say honestly.
“Say thank you now, and when we have a moment alone, get angry,” he suggests. I can tell by his tone it isn't because he doesn't want me to get upset in front of Larkin. It's because he wants to be able to respond differently than he can with her present, and, honestly, that should make me mad, but for some reason, it doesn't.
I look back at Larkin. If the pretty tree with the sparkly lights isn't bad enough, there are multiple gifts under the tree as well. I should be grateful. I know that I should. Deep down, there’s a part of me that tells me to ignore my pride, but history tells me not to let people run all over me. I struggle between the two. It makes me feel inadequate, the same way the damn battery for the ride-on car made me feel.
Guilt swims inside of me for how kind he’s been but, at the same time, I should be able to do something like this for my child.
I shrug him off when he reaches for me, the familiar burn of tears making me even angrier.
"Please leave," I whisper, not wanting to take my anger out on him when it's about so much more than that.
He doesn't argue, and, a moment later, the front door is closing behind him.
I fight the urge to run after him when his truck cranks and feel even guiltier when he doesn't gun the engine like he's mad I asked him to leave. Maybe he realizes that my brand of crazy isn't worth getting tangled up in.
I smile at Larkin when she looks back at me and I'm grateful she's distracted enough not to notice the tear that makes its way down my cheek.
Chapter 33
Walker
That's not exactly how I saw things going.
I wagered that the begging for forgiveness would've been done with my tongue between her legs after Larkin went to bed, but I barely even got a step into the house before she asked me to leave.
I don't know who to curse as I drive myself across town to the bar. I could blame her mother, but I'm sure her father abandoning his family plays a larger role in her trauma than an absent mom who made a lot of wrong decisions. But what do I know about trauma? Other than losing Jason a few years ago and some of the things I saw and experienced in the military, I've led a pretty easy life.
I wanted to spread the blame about the tree rather than taking it all on my shoulders, but there was no reason to throw Adalynn under the bus. The woman managed to get an army of people together while still on her honeymoon to make the decorations and gifts happen in the time that Claire was at work. Jason Brakeen gave us access to her place with his universal key, something that still bugs the shit out of me.
She didn't ask but that tree in her home is her tree from the storage facility across town. It was the first place I visited after dropping her off at work this morning. It cost me three hundred bucks to have the owner pull the unit from the auction list. I was there when she called and watched the man, someone I'm beginning to think is a professional liar, lie to her about her payment being received when it's been on the auction list for two months.
I tried not to look at the things in the room other than the tree that was shoved to the side, but the boxes marked baby clothes and the small baby bath that obviously was Larkin’s made me wonder if she was saving them because she was looking forward to having another baby or if she wanted to be prepared in case she got pregnant again without expecting it.