Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 84250 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84250 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
"Kristina said she was singing while doing a flea dip on that beagle I was talking to you about," he says. "I can just see that questioning look in your eyes that tells me you're wondering if you should keep pressing her. For what it's worth, I say yes. She lost her husband, and I imagine that's an incredibly difficult thing to overcome, but I bet she'll be worth it in the end."
I take everything he has to say into consideration while also trying to figure out his motivation.
"Are you into her?" I ask point blank.
He huffs a humorless laugh. "No, man. Promise. She's great and all but there's someone… no. I've got no interest."
I think any other person would lean in closer and demand he tell me who he's talking about, but it's just not the way I operate. Besides, if he keeps drinking, he'll end up spilling his guts whether I want to know or not.
I have too much else going on in my own life to add his troubles to the things bouncing around in my head.
"Like I said. Just don't give up on her."
A new customer at the bar pulls my attention, and my head swims as I take their order and get to work on making a Long Island.
I can't just think about Claire. Larkin is a part of all this as well. I don't have much experience with kids, and I know better than to think I could be great at helping with a child, but no one has experience until they have experience, right? It's just one of those things you have to get involved with before you know how you'll do.
I'm a compassionate man. I'm nice to everyone, children included. Despite the cupcake this morning, I'm not exactly the type to use bribery, but I was bringing Claire coffee and it felt shitty to bring her something when I was picking two people up. I don’t know that Larkin would even feel any sort of way, but on the off chance she would, I stopped by The Brew and Chew.
Adalynn is on vacation, meaning that Ruth at the diner has permission to make items that Adalynn would make at her bakery. I doubt they were as good, even though Larkin tore through it as if she'd never tasted sugar before.
As the night progresses, I do my best to shove it from my mind, but the more I do that, the more invading the thoughts are. They transition from thoughts of me picking her up for a date to waking up to them in my home. I think of Larkin’s face on Christmas morning as we celebrate as a family, and all of it makes me realize that giving up on Claire isn’t an option at all. Somewhere between the joking and wanting to care for her, I've managed to fall in love with the woman.
Things will either work out the way I feel like they should or I'm going to end up with a very broken heart.
Chapter 34
Claire
I know it's in my head, but my coffee tastes bitter as I sip on it this morning.
I tossed and turned all night, and although that was nothing new for me, my thoughts were riddled with regret and self-recrimination.
I was rude to Walker yesterday when I should've said thank you and kissed him while Larkin wasn't looking.
Instead, I turned into the Grinch and threw him out of the house. He no doubt spent all day getting that tree up, decorating it, and getting gifts under the tree. I imagine he thinks I'm an ungrateful person, and it doesn't sit well with me. For the first time in a very long time, I want to reach out and explain to him why I reacted that way and apologize for my behavior, but doing so also opens me up to more pain.
Folks who haven't lived the life I've lived think they understand what it's like. They say things like if I ever or had that happened to me I would but, honestly, you never know how you'd respond to any given situation until you're in it. It's the same with people who don't have kids claiming their child would never have a meltdown in a public setting, as if a parent has the ability to control every action of another person. They forget how it was for them as a child, or maybe the lack of experience makes them believe that a child is a robot and always listens to commands. Fun fact, they don't.
Just like I did multiple times last night, I stare down at my phone, the last text message he sent from two evenings ago, and another wave of regret hits me.
I fought the urge to send him a message last night and now it feels like the window for apology is up. Weeks ago, I would've argued that I was doing the right thing by cutting ties with him, but as time passes, I begin to wonder if I did the wrong thing.