Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 76887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“On another note, would you happen to know a local trail guide who could take me on a few hikes?” My question worked, but they were back to staring at me weirdly. “I’ve normally got a very good sense of direction, but your area is throwing me off.”
Maybe whatever had killed their brains was messing with mine?
Could it be an airborne pathogen?
No. They’d have made more sense if I’d been infected too.
Hopefully.
I’d never had so many problems keeping track of where I was, but every time I turned around, I was struggling. Even GPS didn’t help. I’d started to think that once I found my beetles I should talk with someone else to figure out why electronics in the area worked so strangely. It was like living through one of those Ancient Aliens episodes about ley lines and magnetic grids.
The only problem was that I didn’t believe in those.
“I’m sure you have locals who know the area well.” More stares. How was this topic weirder to them than whatever we’d been talking about before? “Um, hunters? Preppers? Hippies? Local ecologists?”
Did the US still have hippies?
“Oh, van lifers? They seem very focused on exploring places they shouldn’t be driving.” I was back to grasping for more examples when the front door of the diner was opened so hard it nearly bounced back closed and a very frustrated-looking police officer burst through the door.
“What the hell did I tell you?” Glaring at the now guilty-looking customers, his frown deepened. “You were supposed to behave for a couple of hours so Lorne could get arrested and ravished in peace and fucking quiet. Why have I gotten so many text messages?”
Oh.
He wasn’t making any more sense than the rest of them, but it seemed like someone had tattled on the confused old men.
Hands started pointing everywhere and no one seemed to want to take the blame, which just made the police officer even more insane. His glare got deeper and he started scrubbing his hands over his face.
“What have you guys done to the bug doctor and why have I gotten so many fucking texts?” He crossed his arms over his chest and waited. “Once Lorne’s done, I’ll haul you all in for disturbing my peace.”
He was interesting.
Was Lorne in jail being ravished?
It sounded consensual from the way it was being phrased, but I hadn’t thought anyone could arrange to live out that fantasy in person.
“Um.” Raising my hand since no one else seemed to be inclined to make sense, I cleared my throat. “I think I’m the bug doctor in question.”
The police officer stopped frowning but cocked his head. “You’re not the exterminator.”
Oh.
Were exterminators considered to be doctors if they just killed the bugs?
“No. I…I’m an entomologist. A real bug doctor.” It wasn’t how I normally explained what I did, but it would work. “I’m not sure why everyone is very curious and asking interesting questions, but I don’t understand any of it. Oh, and you wouldn’t happen to know a local guide who could help me in the forest?”
I thought it was a reasonable request but the police officer rolled his eyes. “For fuck’s sake, fix the forest, guys. This is ridiculous. We’re going to end up with more fucked-up reviews.”
Hmm.
“That’s what brought me here. Do you know you seem to have a fascinating new species of beetles?” The way he rolled his eyes said he had not been aware of that information.
For whatever reason, that broke the dam on the confused old men and they all started talking at once.
“He doesn’t know what kind of little he is.”
“Don’t forget the ponies, but we don’t understand why people want to go in circles.”
“Do you think he’s that middle one? He had grilled cheese for lunch.”
I tuned them out as they just kept going and focused on the police officer, who was still shaking his head. “Do you see my problem?”
I was hoping someone did because I hadn’t found my beetles yet…or finished my lunch…or figured out what horses and food had in common…besides orgasms.
Chapter 2
Fraser
I’d managed to sneak in during the what kind of little are you discussion, but I knew I couldn’t hide from Talon for long. He was technically not a mage or a dragon, but he noticed more than the average human.
So I was pretty sure he was something, but that discussion would have to wait.
He’d found me.
“For fuck’s sake. Why didn’t you tell the bug doctor you could help him?” Talon’s glare made me want to laugh, which was not his goal, so I behaved myself. “And why didn’t you save him from these idiots?”
“Um, because it was funny?” No one liked that answer. Half were frustrated, half were confused, and Talon was back to rolling his eyes. “And the bug doctor was being nice and ignoring most of the ridiculousness. I didn’t want to interrupt his lunch.”