Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 61922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 310(@200wpm)___ 248(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 310(@200wpm)___ 248(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
“Uh…I really have no idea.”
“Brie cheese.” He smiled, bright and bold.
I gave him the blank stare he deserved. “Brie cheese.”
“Yep! My subconscious reminded me about all the amazing things I want to see and do and eat in Paris. I’m going to positively gorge on French cheese, French baguettes, and French wine, honey. I see myself wearing a black-and-white striped shirt and a beret on a blanket near the Eiffel Tower, chowing down in style. Just thinking about it calmed me. And guess who found his adapter a minute later?”
“You?”
Winnie slapped my knee. “That’s right! So…close your eyes. Go on and find your bloop.”
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t think that will work for me.”
“Just try it. One time,” he insisted. “Close your eyes for me. Are they closed?”
I sighed heavily.
Playing along seemed easier than arguing. “Yes.”
“Good. Now clear the slate like you’re wiping a chalkboard at the end of the day, and say the first thing that pops in your head.”
“Penis.”
My eyes shot open, my face ablaze as I stuttered and stammered an awkward apology. I was too caught up in my state of mortification to register that my assistant had keeled forward, his shoulders shaking.
Winnie whooped with glee. “Oh, Professor. I like you!”
“I—that’s not what I—” I sucked in a breath of air as I reached for my tea. If nothing else, I could hide my face in my cup.
“Oh, please don’t tell me you were kidding. Dick is always on my mind too.” He gave a mischievous wink and continued. “But I promised Raine I’d be on my best behavior. I don’t want to shock you with the unedited version of yours truly before we leave Scotland.”
“England,” I corrected.
“Oh, that’s what I meant.” Winnie pursed his cherry-tinted lips and whispered, “Now tell me where your penis came from.”
“My—I—” I looked down at my crotch on cue.
Winnie was now positively overcome with hilarity, howling with laughter like a demented hyena.
Much to my horror, curious glances drifted our way.
This was not going to work. Not at all. I liked Winnie, but he was more than I could handle. Too loud, too enthusiastic, too charming, too pretty, too…everything.
“You’re funny.” Winnie deserted his seat, pushing aside his luggage to slide into the leather chair next to mine. “However, I have a feeling you weren’t talking about your own johnson.”
I opened my mouth and shut it immediately. “If you must know, I was referring to the pink…toy you dropped earlier. Not that I was actively thinking about it, but it isn’t something one sees popping out of bags every day.”
“That was embarrassing,” he said, sounding the very opposite of embarrassed. “I didn’t repack very well after my adapter fiasco this morning, and the cock got out of the bag, as they say. I apologize. I promise you won’t see Roger again.”
“It’s no bother. It was just a surprise…that’s all.”
Winnie snickered. “For me too.”
A blessed quiet fell between us, and I was more than happy to let it linger for as long as possible. Which wasn’t long enough. Inexplicably, my mouth opened and—
“Roger?”
“Roger.”
“Is Roger named for your boyfriend?” I asked, immediately cringing. “Sorry, don’t answer. That was too personal.”
“Oh, hush, you. Get personal. I don’t mind,” he chided, crossing his legs as he settled into the leather upholstery. “Roger the dynamic dildo is a gift from a former beau who looked like Roger Moore’s James Bond. Hunk-y! Human Roger ended up being a total prick, but nice eye candy while he lasted. Honestly, if I hadn’t named my toy after him, I wouldn’t have remembered Roger at all. He was one of those obnoxiously fit gym rats who couldn’t pass a mirror without checking his muscles.”
I squelched the impulse to share the ancient Greek mythology about the beautiful man who fell in love with his reflection and mourned being kept apart from his “love.” It was a fascinating tale, but not everyone was interested in folklore and past civilizations. Their loss.
“Narcissus,” I mumbled…because I couldn’t say nothing at all.
Winnie brightened. “Exactly. I love that story.”
“You know it?”
“Sure, I took a class on mythology at San Francisco State as an elective. It ended up being one of my faves. Zeus and Hera and all those egotistical gods and goddesses sitting on their mountain interfering with the masses below. So rude. Of course, I’d have given my left nut to be one of them. How fun would it be to smite your foes?”
“Yes, I can see the appeal.”
“Right? But I’m stuck in a mortal body, so one must make do, trading scathing memes with your coworkers or better yet, commiserating with your besties over margaritas.”
I wrinkled my nose in confusion and pushed at my glasses. “Right.”
“Thankfully, I know self-care and self-absorption are two different things. Roger the ex didn’t get it, but where I come from, he’s not unique.”