Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82341 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82341 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Anyway, suffice to say Simone was the only sober person for miles around. She’d gotten pregnant again when Joel Junior, or JJ as he was called, was only ten months old, and poor Joel Healy had been forced to nurse blue balls for a solid three days because of it. But then pregnancy horniness had kicked in and Joel’s beloved seducer had returned, albeit under duress. She may have wanted an orgasm or three, but that didn’t mean she had to like it. Er, whatever.
So Simone looked down her nose at the rest of the group and drank her LaCroix like it was a nice glass of champagne. It wasn’t. It was more like the taste of being haunted by Carmen Miranda’s ghost.
Stevie swayed nearby. “What’s it called when…? When…”
Chief Paige wrapped an arm around his man and pressed a kiss to Stevie’s royal blue hair. “When what, baby?”
“When two old married men get married again. Hey, that rhymes. I’m a poet and didn’t know it.”
“Except you did. Because you say that all the freaking time,” Sassy muttered under her breath.
“It’s rhyme time,” Stevie slurred.
Sassy rolled her eyes. “How about mime time? That would be better for you, lightweight.”
“Is this a joke?” Augie asked. “’Cause I like jokes.”
Saint pulled Augie onto his lap. “Is what a joke, cutie?”
“Gay marriage,” Augie said.
“What?” cried half the room, heads swiveling and drinks sloshing.
“Calm your tits,” Granny called out from her position… on the floor. She lay with her head on a pillow and her legs spread wide in front of the fire. When Tristan had politely asked her to close her knees earlier, she’d told him ladies of a certain age had circulation problems and needed a little external help preheating the love flaps. Honestly, that last word out of her mouth had been what had caused the current extreme level of drunkenness in the room. Everyone had thrown themselves into a glass of liquor to forget.
Granny continued, still spread-eagle in front of the flames. “He wasn’t calling gay marriage a joke, people. Which is a good thing because then I would have had to grab Reenie for a demonstration about…” She’d been picking at a loose sequin on her dress and it finally popped off, bringing its neighbors with it and leaving a zigzagged pattern of bald fabric behind. “Well, I’ll be damned. This is how it happens. I’ve finally lost my sparkle.”
“Never,” her wife said affectionately, delivering a new drink to her before lowering herself onto the colorful floor pillows scattered in front of the stone hearth. “Here. Sweet nuts.”
“What did you just call her?” Teddy Marian asked with a giant grin. “Because that shit’s gonna stick.”
Jamie leaned his head onto Teddy’s shoulder and groaned. “I shouldn’t have had the third piece of cake. Why didn’t you stop me?”
Teddy rubbed Jamie’s belly. “I just assumed you and Simone were competing for whose belly was the most robust. You’ll never beat her, babydoll. Look at that thing.” He pointed to Simone’s belly covered in one of Joel’s hoodies. She’d torn off the too-tight dress as soon as they’d returned to the lodge.
“Asshole,” Simone muttered. Ginger reached over and caressed the bump.
“Awww,” she said to her favorite (only) sister-in-law with a schmoopy tone. “I see you this pregnant and think, ‘Thank god that’s not me.’”
She turned to her husband, Pete, for a high five.
“Preach, wife. Never again,” Pete said with a laugh.
Simone shot her brother the bird and snuggled back against her big beefy man. Joel chuckled for a split second before cooing at Simone about how beautiful she looked. He lied.
Hallie Wilde leaned forward to grab a handful of candied almonds from a dish on the coffee table. “I thought these were sweet nuts.”
Tilly waltzed into the sitting area from the direction of her suite looking decidedly unkempt. The senator ambled after her with a flushed face and swollen lips. His shirt was buttoned wrong, and there was lipstick smeared on it down by his belt.
“Honey, this room is chock-full of sweet nuts,” Tilly said, wiping the side of her mouth with the tip of her pinky finger. “Look around you.”
Everyone looked around. There were over twenty gay men and their partners.
Stevie’s eyes glazed over. “Soo many sweet nuts…”
Chief Paige stood up and threw Stevie over his shoulder. “All right. That’s enough. I can’t compete with all you buff young ones. I’m taking my baby to bed.”
“Can we do naughty things when we get there, Chief?” Stevie asked from upside down. His hands snuck into the back of Chief’s pants.
Chief’s big hand swatted Stevie’s pert ass. “Always.”
Bill Wilde, the oldest of Doc and Grandpa’s children, looked around in a daze similar to Stevie’s but for much different reasons. “I still can’t believe it’s possible for this many men in one—okay two—families to be gay.”