Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 96249 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 481(@200wpm)___ 385(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96249 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 481(@200wpm)___ 385(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
My heart sings, Lynnie, she’s right.
But how do I deserve him?
Losing you doesn’t feel right.
I feel like I’m losing my purpose.
You were the one who helped me keep sight.
Still someday I hope to write another letter telling you all about our life.
I guess I should say thank you.
None of this would have happened without you.
It hurts that you won’t get to see me become a mom and a wife.
My heart bleeds when he says that he loves me—
I just wanted you to know you were right.
I’m sure you’re God’s favorite angel—
I know he’s keeping you close.
I just might break into heaven—
Did God know I needed you most?
Every time my beau says he loves me—
I lose my breath… cause I don’t deserve him—
I’m bracing myself for his loss.
PS I hope you can forgive me—
I didn’t know I was trading an angel for love.
I play the final cords, and the crowd erupts. I open my eyes and feel the moisture on my cheeks. When I woke the morning after Trevor and I said I love you and then had that amazing moment, I wanted to call Brooke so badly.
I wanted to tell her everything. Then I remembered I couldn’t. That’s when I grabbed my notebook and started on this song. I’ve been singing it in my head for days.
I walk off stage and head back to our table. Trevor pulls me into his arms and hugs me tight. I hold him as close as I can with my guitar still in my hand.
“If I could bring her back, if I could trade places with her, I would,” he murmurs into my hair.
“I know.”
“You deserve to be happy. She would want you happy. We would make her happy,” he says in almost a plea.
“Trev, it’s okay. It’s just a song. I wish I could tell her how much I love you now. This was my way of telling her.”
He pulls away and looks down into my face. “Are we good?”
“Yeah, we’re good.”
He kisses my nose and wipes away my tears. There’s still a bit of concern in his gaze. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his warm chest.
He has no idea how much this simple gesture means to me. I needed to get that out. The jagged hole in my heart feels like it heals just a bit more.
Trevor
I’ve been lost in my head since Lynn sang that song. I hate that she thinks she doesn’t deserve me. How can she believe she’s going to lose me?
My heart beats for her. I can’t see my life without her. I haven’t been able to keep my hands off her, but not just because of the physical connection. Bringing Lynn pleasure makes my soul feel free.
It’s like I’m living for the first time. She’s blooming into her own as well. It’s phenomenal to watch.
However, I can’t ignore the things she sang. I heard her words when she tried to reassure me that it was just a song, but I’ve known her too long to believe that’s all there is to it. When I have her alone, we can talk some more about it.
If not for the other two songs she sang, once they called her back up for more, I would have pressed her. Hearing her sing happily soothed my rising concern a bit. Those songs were just as beautiful as the first, making my chest swell with pride.
“This has been good for her,” Tom says as he comes over and takes a seat next to me.
Lynn went to the restroom with Maggie and Elsie. I’m glad the girls have taken her into their circle. The others haven’t been as welcoming.
I’ve been annoyed with them, but so has everyone else. Corinne has been the worst of them. I have a feeling I know why. I had been dating her cousin while away at school. Things didn’t work out between us.
Brooke never liked Corinne’s cousin. I honestly think she befriended Corinne to keep an eye on her cousin. My best friend always had my back.
I smile at the thought and look at Tom. “Yeah, it’s been real good for her. She’s writing and I think she’s beginning to feel like herself again.”
“You two are great together. Who knew? I’m so used to you guys fussing. It’s been weird to see y’all all in love.”
I scoff. “Don’t jinx it. We haven’t had a tiff since we’ve been here. I think that’s a record.”
“It is.” Tom chuckles. “You look happier than I’ve seen you in a long time. That song… you told her you love her, right?” Tom asks while searching my face. I’m sure he’s not the only one who caught that and wanted to know. I’m not going to shy away from my feelings for Lynn.
I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. They can all take that however they like. It’s not going to change how I feel.