Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“I did that for me and Porter, even though I figured he wasn’t coming back.” I point in the direction of the mountains. “That stream is our stream. Every part of this land reminds me of him. I want to build a life with him, and now…no way he’ll accept any of this, let alone put it behind us.”
“Oh, honey.” Mom rubs at her heart like it hurts her too. “I’m so sorry. We feel awful. Where is he now?”
Suddenly it occurs to me where he might be.
“I might know.” I turn for the door, focused on only one person. My person.
Porter Dixon.
I head toward the stables and Midnight.
Chapter 32
Porter
When I hear a horse behind me, there’s no doubt in my mind who it is. I don’t turn around, though, still sitting on the foundation of the house Sully wants us to build together.
Because he feels guilty he took what’s yours…because he doesn’t want you to fight him for it.
I shake those thoughts from my head, fight to dig up the roots before they grow and fester.
“Porter… I…” His shadow casts alongside me, his long, lean form where he’s standing and mine shorter since I’m sitting.
“My dad loved early mornings,” I say, unsure why those are the first words out of my mouth. It’s not something I’ve thought about in a long time. “I used to love spending the morning with him because it always felt like he was more himself at the start of the day—the real him that he wanted to be. A long day of work usually ended in anger and alcohol, but in the morning, we could start over and everything was peaceful.”
“Sounds nice,” Sully says, voice rough with emotion. “Can I sit?”
“Yup,” I reply, unable to look at him. Scared I won’t be angry if I do, but also scared I will be angry. My emotions are all over the damn place, and I don’t know what to feel. All I know is, I don’t ever want to hate Sully. “My dad…he wasn’t one for deep, meaningful conversations, but one time he told me everything is clear at dawn. That you can find the answers to your questions there, so I’ve been sitting out here, searching, trying to see my way through this, trying not to rage at the whole fucking world because the man everyone wrote off, the one who was bitter and sick and yes, an asshole, was also right. He was right, and no one believed him. They made him feel stupid for thinking the things he did, and he let it take over his life. How different would things have been if this came out before he lost himself?”
“I know. Shit, I know, Port. I’m so fucking sorry. And I get that being sorry doesn’t matter, not really. You were right, and I didn’t believe you, but I’m asking you to believe me now—I didn’t know. I swear to you, this is the first I’ve heard about it, and if—”
“I know,” I reply because I do. Even the moment Randy gave me the paperwork I knew, I was just afraid to see it.
“You do?” His voice is so damn gentle and full of awe, it nearly steals my breath.
Finally, I risk looking at him, turning to see the sun glint off his green eyes, the kindness in them, how fucking pure they are. Sully doesn’t have it in him to hold something like this in, to let it be okay with him and pretend it’s not the truth. “Yeah…you got too big a heart, Sully. You care too much about me…Pixie, Randy, your parents, Aimee…everyone. You don’t have it in you to hurt someone that way, but I still don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve got so much anger inside me—at your family, and my dad, and fucking life. It’s taking everything inside me not to climb into my truck, drive away, and never come back. Life is a whole lot easier when you don’t gotta feel.”
“But then you never have a home either…and you deserve a home. I wanted to give that to you so much, and I still will. There’s nothing I won’t give you, Porter Dixon, but how can I give you what’s already yours? What should have always been yours?”
But he was going to give me our home on this ranch even before he knew part of it is really mine. Sully didn’t owe me anything. He hadn’t known the truth, yet he still wanted at least a piece of Sullivan Ranch to be mine. No one has ever loved me like that before. No one had ever wanted me that much, but he did…he does.
“We’ll give you half of it. I’ll fight my parents on it if I have to. I know it’s not the same. I know you’ve lost so fucking much and—”