Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“And I don’t want it like that.” I didn’t plan the words, but as soon as they’re out of my mouth, I know they’re true. “I want what we talked about before. This house that’s ours. To go to bed together and wake up together and work the ranch together. The rest of it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to let it eat away at me and ruin all the good in my life the way it did with my dad. The way shit does with Randy too. Being with you…I got too much to be happy about to let myself piss it away to anger.”
Sully’s pupils blow wide, eyes immediately going glassy with unshed tears. “But what about what’s rightfully yours?”
“I got it as long as I’m here with you, Sull. I’ve never needed a damn thing like I need you.” And maybe I have Randy to thank for showing me that, for showing me what I don’t want to be: like him, like my father. I’m tired of holding on to all this anger.
“Jesus, I love you so fucking much.” Sully grabs ahold of my face and smashes our lips together. I push my tongue inside, tasting the future, right here on this spot where we’re going to build together without the past between us. I still don’t know how I’ll handle being around his family. They knew, otherwise why would they have the papers? And they kept it from me, but I love this man too much to lose him because of choices we didn’t make.
“I told them about us,” he admits, kissing down my stubbled jaw. “That it’s you for me. That I love you and always have. I won’t ever hide us again, and I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you. Anything.”
“I know,” I reply again.
We sit out there together for a while, lying on the foundation on a cold fall morning. Sully tells me what his parents explained to him—how they found out from the journal and why they never mentioned it. How the agreement wasn’t legally binding and they were instructed to get rid of it. But they didn’t. They held on to the papers, and then they tried to make up for his great-grandfather’s transgressions by hiring Mom and me. It wasn’t perfect, or even close to fixing what happened, but I’m trying to understand their logic and make sense of things. I can’t deny the tension inside me, even knowing that most anyone would do the same. Who would find an agreement over a hundred years old and then give up half their family property? It’s just not logical or realistic.
“Randy?” I ask.
“Took off when I fired him.”
“Pixie?”
“She’s with my momma. Not sure what’s gonna happen there.”
“He reminds me of my dad,” I admit. “Blinded by anger and jealousy. I don’t know if I can forgive Randy, but that little girl loves him, and if he can get his head on right, she deserves a dad.” I wish I’d had more of my dad too.
“Yeah,” Sully replies softly. “She does.”
We’re quiet, and I know he’s thinking the same kind of thoughts as me—how far we’ve come, all the things that happened, and that somehow, we made it. “Your parents…they were okay? When you told them about you? About us?”
“They were great. Makes me feel silly about waiting so long, but—”
“Don’t. Don’t do that. It’s a big deal. I never had to tell my own family. And things turned out the way they’re supposed to.”
“Yeah,” he says softly, nuzzling his cheek against mine. “They did.”
We stay longer than we probably should. Part of me doesn’t ever want to go back, doesn’t want to face the other hands or his family. But I have to do it, for us and also just for me.
I’d parked my truck off the ranch and walked here, so I climb on Midnight with Sully. We ride at a leisurely pace back toward the world that looks so different than it did before—the ranch that should have always been part mine, and somehow, just knowing that is enough. I don’t know that it was as much about having this place I love so much, as it was about knowing what really happened. But now that I do, I can work on letting it go.
I can’t keep my spine from stiffening when we ride up to the barn and I see Wade and a few of the guys outside. My jaw hardens when I notice Mr. Sullivan talking to Big Jimmy. As soon as he sees us, the expression on his face changes, gaze curious, body language unsure.
Sully says, “You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want, Port. You were wronged, and you can deal with it any way you see fit. If anyone has a problem with it, they’ll deal with me.”