Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 147891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 592(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 592(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
She watches me rush to the window to snatch the curtain open, and after a few silent seconds she asks, “What bargain did you make with him?”
I turn toward her slowly when the desolation in her voice rings clear. That’s right. I didn’t tell her what we’d agreed on. I hadn’t planned on telling her because I didn’t think I’d have to commit to it after landing on Earth. I didn’t think it would matter, but I was wrong. So, so wrong.
“Is this about that telepathic message you tried to send before Beatrix sent us to Earth? Something about me living my life and forgetting about you?”
I drop my gaze, working hard to swallow. “Yes.” I can’t lie to her. She already knows. I see it on her face.
She takes a step closer, squaring her shoulders. “What was the bargain, Caz?”
“Willow, I didn’t think…I didn’t think I had a choice. I was willing to do anything to save you.”
“Tell me,” she pleads, eyes glistening.
I focus on her brown eyes, and even while knowing I’m going to break her heart, I say it. “I told him that I’d let him take my Tether if he promised to leave you out of it.”
Her brows furrow, and the sharpness in her shoulders dulls. “You were going to give up, is what you mean.”
“No, I wasn’t giving up! I felt like it was the only thing I could do so that you and everyone else remained safe!”
“Okay,” she breathes, holding her hands out to level the tension. “I can understand why you did that. You felt there was no choice. I understand…but you don’t want that anymore, right? You aren’t trying to go back to Vakeeli just to give yourself to him, are you?”
“I wasn’t before because I thought we were safe and had a fighting chance, but I have to do something now, Willow. He has my family! I can’t just stay here while he torments them.”
“You promised me you’d fight,” she counters, voice cracking. “Giving yourself to him is not fighting, Caz! We can still make this work without you running to him and handing over your life! He’s only trying to scare you!”
“Do you think I wanted this?” I snap, stepping closer. “I never wanted anyone I care about to suffer, yet you all are and it’s because of me!”
“It’s not because of you, Caz! It’s because of the stupid Regals for creating the Cold Tether!”
“Look, we need to get back at once, Willow. If I don’t, he’ll kill them. I can’t let that happen. He was waiting for me to show up. He knew I would find a way to check in on them, or that I’d return somehow. He’s probably tracking us right now.”
She grimaces. “You are out of your fucking mind if you think I’ve done all of this just for you to die anyway! If that’s the case, I may as well go back home and leave you here!”
“Willow, you see where we are,” I plead. “There is no winning this.”
“We haven’t even gone to see the Effie woman yet! She could have answers, Caz! She could help us, or at least find someone who can!”
“And if she doesn’t?” I demand, and her eyes grow wide, watering again. “We must face the reality here, Willow. I hate it as much as you do, but if this woman can’t get us back, if she can’t help us, I have to take Decius’ bargain. I will not let him have you, my family, my wolf, or anyone in my clan. He wants me. He can’t gain full control of Vakeeli without my energy and my blood. If that means sacrificing myself so you all live, then I’m going to do it. Do you understand?”
Her bottom lip quivers, and as badly as she wants to cry, she doesn’t. Instead, she steps away and turns for her tote bag on the bed. She snatches it up and stomps to the door.
“Where are you going?” I ask as she swings the door open.
“I just…I need a moment to myself right now.”
She starts to walk out but stops dead in her tracks, swinging around to face me again. “I don’t know this side of you, Caspian,” she says with a tight frown. “I get that you’re afraid for your family and for me—and trust me, I am too—but you’re letting him win. And I know I haven’t known you long, but from all that I’ve seen firsthand, you don’t just let others beat you down and use your weaknesses against you. You’d take the power back and find a way to put an end to all of this so that it never happens again.” Her eyes search my face while hers crumples with anguish. An ache builds in my chest, so raw and intense that I want to drop to my knees and cry. I feel her. I hurt right along with her. “You think I don’t know that you want to kill yourself?” she asks in a near whisper. “I saw it the day I walked into the office when you had that gun pointed at your head. Decius is handing you that loaded gun right now, and you’re just going to take it. I won’t stand for it.”