Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 147891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 592(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 592(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
“Where was Juniper?”
“She wasn’t there that day. I believe she’d just started her first bleed.” He shudders, and I laugh.
“Her first bleed?”
“Yes. You know…when women hit a certain age and begin to…bleed. They’re, erm, becoming a woman, or what have you, so...” His face has reddened, and I try not to laugh as I watch him nearly tuck his neck into his jacket to hide his embarrassment.
“We call them periods here. A cycle,” I tell him.
“Yes, well that. I don’t know much about that stuff. Anyway,” he continues, clearing his throat. “It was Rowan’s idea to steal weapons from Magnus’ castle so we could pretend we were warriors. Most summers, Magnus and Lydia were out of Blackwater, so we snuck in there a lot to smoke blooms, drink his whiskey. There was one day when Rowan ended up stumbling across a snake nest, and his whole foot slipped inside. The snakes became extremely hostile and shot out of the nest, immediately trying to bite us. I’m not sure you’re aware, but most boys then were trained to kill any and everything in preparation of becoming a Blackwater soldier. I changed that law when I took over, by the way. Never seemed ideal to raise boys to become murderers. Children should be children for as long as they can.” He swallows, wisps of hair falling onto his forehead as he lowers his gaze. I reach forward with a smile, pushing some of those loose hairs back. He glances up, returning a half-smile. “So anyway, here we are, three hormonal boys, slicing the heads off of snakes, thinking we’re badass.” He chuckles, and I can’t help grinning while I imagine the three of them fighting snakes.
“Y’all sounded pretty badass,” I tease.
He chuckles, and I rest my shoulder against his as the woosh of the cars flying by on the freeway soothes me.
“I know I’ve only been here for a few hours, but it’s put a lot into perspective about my family,” Caz goes on. “I used to put up this barrier to block them out when I first met them. They had a life I didn’t have. They were free, unlike me, and were never harmed by their caretaker. They had a shit father, but…well, he never hurt them like mine did to me. Just left them to their own devices and also leaving Maeve to be a single mother. I envied their lives so much—still do, really. They’re all so close, sometimes I feel like the black sheep.” He sniffs.
“That’s not true,” I argue. “They love you. They see you as one of them.”
He presses his lips, and I’m glad he doesn’t argue with that. I’m glad he knows it’s the truth.
“Well, all this to say, I miss my clan. My family,” he says quickly, correcting himself. “I know they’re worried sick.”
“I bet they are. But it’s okay. We’ll get you back to them, I promise.”
He looks at me sideways, the streetlights making his eyes sparkle like cobalt gems. Reaching for my hand, he brings it to his lips and runs them over my knuckles. His lips are warm, soft.
“I don’t want any of them getting hurt because of our Tether,” he murmurs.
“Right, our Tether. Killian’s biggest fear,” I return, huffing. “God, that man. How do you deal with him? What happened to make him so angry all the time?”
“The better question to ask is how does he tolerate me?” Caz counters, and I sense that he won’t spill much about Killian. If anyone is like a vault, it’s Caz. There must be a reason Killian is so hostile and angry, something that goes much deeper than daddy issues. “Besides, he doesn’t hate you,” Caz says, looking ahead again.
I swing my eyes to his.
“He just doesn’t understand you. He’s a lot like me. We hate things we don’t understand—that we can’t wrap our minds around. But sooner or later, he’ll be like your guardian. You’ll be family, and he won’t ever let a hair go astray on your head. He’s like that with the people he loves. Because that’s Killian. The angriest of us all on the outside, but the most tender inside.”
There’s a warmth to Caz’s voice, one that overflows inside me, making me feel comforted and a little emotion. “That’s good to hear.”
I lower my gaze, my mind going back to the last car ride I took with Caz’s family. I could sense some of Killian’s tenderness when Caz was out cold. It almost looked like Killian wanted to cry, and Caz and I talk about that as time passes and the sun slowly pours above the horizon, painting the sky in lush lavender and cotton candy pink. It’s nice talking to him at this hour, wrapped in a blissful high. If only we could have these moments forever, uninterrupted. Just us.