Total pages in book: 173
Estimated words: 168701 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 844(@200wpm)___ 675(@250wpm)___ 562(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 168701 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 844(@200wpm)___ 675(@250wpm)___ 562(@300wpm)
Our eyes meet again and his glow a luminescent green for an instant.
“I can explain,” I whisper, wanting to drink that scent, fill myself with it. “I still come off looking like the bad guy, but…”
His head jerks slightly, like I’ve shocked him, knocked him out of a trance, something.
“I do have an explanation,” I continue. “I didn’t mean it, Riley. I screwed up, it all went wrong, and then it was too late and-”
He knifes off me, making the camper van shake with the action. One of my glass jars of herbs smashes to the floor and books from my little shelf fall as well. If it weren’t for the fact my bed is popped up, he’d have hit his head on the roof.
He roars, “Are you out of your fuckin’ mind?”
I cower at the rage coming at me.
He continues shouting at me and three more jars smash to the floor. “Nothing you could say… fuckin’ nothing!” He grinds his teeth and then shakes his head before he drops his voice an octave. “Go back wherever you came from, Rikki.”
I flinch at the name; the nickname Dad gave me. Rikki-button, cute as a button. It’s the name I told him was mine that day, the name I haven’t let anyone use since.
Because of how right it sounded on his lips back then. Because of how wrong it was to do what I did. Because what I did meant I ceased to be Rikki. I became someone else after I had to face the music of my actions. I knew I’d never hear my dad say it again and suspected I’d never hear Riley, either.
“I’m here to explain, Riley. I-”
“I don’t fuckin’ care!” he roars.
“But…”
“Do you think there’s anything you could say to me to make up for what you did to me? Anything? You know what you did. What it’d do to me. Right?”
I swallow.
“Right?” he bellows his question.
I nod. “I do know what I did.” My voice trembles. “And no. Nothing’s going to make up for it. Nothing.”
“So you knew. You knew what it’d do.” Somehow, the hatred intensifies.
“No.”
“You didn’t know?”
“Not exactly. I found out after.”
“And you didn’t put me out of my misery?”
“I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed to.”
“Fuck your excuses and fuck you.”
“Please let me explain.”
“Why? It’s not gonna change what it did to me, how it changed me, what it took from me. From my pack. Go, witch. Let me finally have some…” his voice goes gruff, “some fuckin’ peace.”
Ouch. Ouch times a thousand.
I choke on a sob.
“Don’t you dare,” he snarls, pointing at me accusingly.
He doesn’t want my tears. He’s right, I don’t deserve to have an emotional meltdown right now.
I try to hold my shit together. “I’m not leaving until I expl–”
“What, confess? So I can absolve you of your sins?” His eyes travel over me with disgust in them. “I don’t think so.”
The look on his face makes my chest feel like it’s caving in.
“Go,” he says coldly. “Crawl back under your rock, witch.”
“I’ll wait until you’re ready to talk,” I whisper.
“Go!” he roars.
I tremble, arms cradling myself.
“Then I’ll fuckin’ go,” he states icily, then he leaves, slamming the door behind him.
All this time and now he’s just… gone.
I don’t deserve to meltdown and let it all out, but I can’t help it.
I somehow manage to crawl up into the bunk. And as soon as I fall face-first into the pillows, I fall to pieces. It pours out. All of it. Finally. Flooding rivers of pain. Crying so long and so hard it’s as if seven years of grief tsunamically surges straight out of my soul.
And while it happens, something digs in deep, weaves its way in, settling within my chest. Something strange and new. And I’m pretty sure it’s got something to do with him and the bond we could have developed if I hadn’t fucked up.
2
Riley Savage
My wolf form runs faster than my human form, so to get the fuck away from the sensations chasing me, sensations from her, fur bursts from my skin the minute the night air hits and I’m on all fours.
I’m gone. Gone, but being chased by pain coming at me through that new, odd place in my chest that hurts so much it’s got me in some sort of chokehold that means I can barely breathe with it.
I vaguely sense my pack brothers nearby, along with knowledge that something has tweaked somebody on the council. But I can’t linger on that or any other thought whatsoever because my paws are pounding the ground and I’m running, full speed toward the forest to get away from what she’s feeling. Because I can’t process any of it. I don’t have the capacity.
But her emotions chase me all night long, clawing for me, nipping at my ankles, trying to pull me to the ground and drag me back to her.