Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 76541 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76541 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Hannah’s head turns, and her gaze drifts out across the front yard. It’s as if she’s afraid to believe what I’m saying.
I bring a hand to her face, grip her jaw gently, and turn her back to me. “It’s not easy for me to admit a weakness, Hannah. But I’m here telling you that it was fear of losing someone I’d fallen in love with that made me do the stupid things I’ve done. It was incredibly idiotic of me to think that perhaps if I broke things off now, when I’d just fallen in love with you, it wouldn’t hurt as bad as if I were more deeply in love with you and you died on me.”
“I’m not going to die,” she asserts stubbornly.
“I don’t know that,” I return softly. “And it’s my burden to bear. To try to figure out how to fucking cope with it. It’s up to me to decide if I’m strong enough to give up control of my fate and future.”
Hannah’s head tilts. “And how do you get there?”
“By accepting that you’re my soul mate.” I dip my head, get closer to her. “By taking the risk and putting myself out there.”
“And you’re ready for that?”
I smile. “I didn’t know I was until Kyla told me about that college pamphlet. Like I said… I didn’t have the guts to call it over, because I was still trying to figure shit out. But knowing that you were making plans to move on, well… I knew without a doubt I was ready for it. I tried to hop a plane yesterday afternoon, but everything was fucking booked. This was the earliest I could get here.”
Hannah graces me with a small smile.
A true smile that doesn’t look forced or pained.
It gives me hope.
I step back from her. “I’m going to let you get back to your family dinner. I’m staying at the Eastover Inn in town. Maybe we could talk again over breakfast or something.”
I turn to the porch, waiting for her to stop me.
To give me some sign she’s heard what I’ve said—has realized that even dumbasses can be forgiven their weaknesses.
I make it to the third step down when the front door opens. It’s not Hannah who stops me; it’s her mother. “Wait a minute.”
Turning around, I find her standing there with her hand on Hope’s shoulder. Hope’s expression is uncertain.
“Hope needs to talk to you again,” she says from the doorway before giving a little nudge to her granddaughter.
Hannah watches carefully, not saying a word.
Hope inches out, darting a glance at her mom. It’s a silent question if it’s okay that she interferes in our discussion.
“What’s up, baby?” Hannah asks her.
She seems unsure, lowering her gaze shyly. Hannah raises her eyebrow at her mom, who explains, “We were all inside talking about um… you two… and Hope had some questions.”
“Ask away, kiddo,” I say as I come back onto the porch. Once again, I squat down to get on eye level with her.
Another glance at her mom, who reassures her, “It’s okay, honey.”
Hope turns to me, clasping her hands in front of her. “Do you love my mommy?”
“I do,” I tell her with no room in my tone for uncertainty by anyone. “More than anything I’ve ever loved before.”
I hear Hannah gasp, because while we just had a deep discussion of feelings, fears, and emotions, I didn’t come right out and tell her that.
Keeping my gaze on Hope, I patiently wait for any other questions.
I go completely hot under the collar when she asks bluntly, “Are you going to marry her?”
My gaze flicks up to Hannah, who has gone pale, before I focus back on Hope. “If your mom loves me the way I love her, then yes… without a doubt I would.”
Something sly flits across Hope’s face, and I realize I might be getting played here.
“If you get married,” she says deliberately, “can I have a brother or a sister?”
What the fuck? This kid is beyond stinking smart and totally manipulative, in the absolute best of ways.
“Um… yeah,” I say without really thinking too much about it.
“One of each would be great,” she replies with a sharp nod of her head. She then turns to Hannah, and I about lose my shit when she holds her thumb up. “If he makes you happy, Mommy, then I think he’s okay to keep around.”
Hannah chokes back a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand to hide her grin.
“Okay, Hope… let’s get back inside,” Carol says, shooting first me a smirk, then Hannah an amused grin.
After they’re gone and the door closes, Hannah and I are once again facing each other on the porch. There’s a slightly awkward silence before Hannah asks, “You’d really give Hope a brother and a sister?”
“You make it sound like I’m just going out to buy one at the local mall or something,” I chide. “You’d have to be an integral part of that decision.”