Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 82034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
A quick look at Dane shows me he already knows this is a fact—that sex does make the world go ’round. I suspect this is because of his membership to The Wicked Horse. It’s an exclusive sex club here in Vegas that he’s belonged to since it opened three years ago. It’s not like he boasts about his conquests there because, honestly, we don’t have time to talk about that shit. But he doesn’t keep it secret either, and it’s never bothered me. I’m pretty sure it’s never bothered Andrew either, or at least it didn’t until Dane invited him to go just now.
“Andrew,” I say to get his attention. “You should go to The Wicked Horse with Dane. I mean, why wouldn’t you take advantage of that?”
“I don’t know—” he hems, but Dane cuts him off.
Leaning forward, he puts his elbows on his knees and looks at Andrew across the desk. His eyes are filled with an earnestness I’ve seen often from Dane. He’s such a genuine person. When he gets that look in his eye, you really listen to what he’s saying. “Trust me, buddy. It’s a liberating experience. Walking in a place like that, knowing it’s filled with nothing but likeminded people. You can’t imagine the freedom of knowing that what happens in that building will make you feel better than you’ve ever felt before. Knowing when you walk out of that building, your life goes on the same but your smile is bigger, your strut cockier.”
Andrew snickers at this, but I’m a bit awestruck by Dane’s words. He’s not done yet, and his voice lowers an octave. “It’s hedonism without guilt. It’s unshackling yourself from inhibition. It’s about truly discovering exactly who you are, and, more importantly, you’ll come out liking what you find out. When you let go like that, all of your troubles will just seem to melt away.”
Discovering who you are?
Liking what you find out?
I stare long and hard at Dane as he watches Andrew for his reaction to his pitch. I don’t know if Andrew was moved by those words, but I sure as shit was. Over the last three days, the only thing I’ve been able to determine with any certainty is that I don’t know who I am. I mean, I know certain things. I’m intelligent and a savvy businesswoman. I adore my career. I care about those close to me. I have a good life.
But past that, I’m not sure what else there is that makes up Avril Carrigan. Just three days ago, I was head over heels in love with someone.
Today… I question every single emotion and feeling I had for Jamie. I know there is something I missed, and I have to figure out what it is about me that didn’t let me see the truth. It would certainly take a psychologist to peel away the layers of Jamie Priest so I can figure a lot of these questions out. But since the breakdown in our relationship came from him having sex with another woman, I’m thinking there may be another way to figure things out.
At the very least, if The Wicked Horse is as liberating as Dane makes it out to be, I should come out of there with my self-worth rebuilt. While Jamie didn’t destroy it, he sure as shit took a sledgehammer to it and left some pretty big dents.
“I’ll go with you,” I say as I sit up straighter in my chair.
Dane’s head snaps so hard to the left to look at me, I swear I hear his bones pop. His eyebrows draw inward deeply. “You are absolutely not coming with me.”
“Yeah, that’s not a good idea, Avril,” Andrew chimes in.
I look to Andrew, and then back to Dane. Keeping my voice calm and level, I say, “I hope you two realize how misogynistic and sexist you are being right now.”
Dane’s expression only turns harder but to Andrew’s credit, his gaze lowers away from mine in shame.
“We’re being protective, not sexist,” Dane says authoritatively.
I lean back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest, giving Dane my most sarcastic glare. “Oh, really? You want to protect me in a place that is all about liberation, freedom, and self-discovery? Sounds very dangerous.”
“Come on, Avril,” Andrew says quietly, and I turn to find him leveling a direct look my way. “It’s not a place you need to go. You’re vulnerable right now. That’s all Dane means by protecting you.”
I’m not sure why this infuriates me, but I know that gender bias plays a significant part. I can’t recall another time that the fact I am a woman kept me from doing the same things my best friends are able to do.
Sure, Andrew and Dane are very different when it comes to our friendships. Andrew is the guy I can talk to about personal stuff. Not that I wouldn’t talk to Dane about personal stuff and have done so when all three of us were together, it’s just that over the years, Andrew has been the one who has become my personal confidant.