Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 78647 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78647 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
I realized, as Cal laid out his plans for us, that my view of love was never realistic. I wasn’t ready to give it up, though, not when I’d already given up so much. I’d either find a man to love me for me, or I’d spend my life being the best, most capable mother I could.
But sitting inside my guest room in Ashby Manor, weighing my options for the future, I wondered if I had any future at all. Now that I was carrying an Ashby baby, I had my doubts that leaving Glitz was even an option anymore. Cal’s words stayed with me. That doesn’t work for me. At all. It wasn’t an explicit threat, but it was a threat all the same.
I was sure I could leave Glitz if I wanted, but the baby would stay here. With the Ashbys.
So my options weren’t just limited, they were practically nonexistent. Stay and raise my baby or leave and kiss motherhood goodbye. One tear fell down my eye and then another until I was in a full-on silent crying session, complete with a runny nose and strawberry-red face.
It wasn’t the most attractive I’d ever looked, which was the perfect moment for a visitor.
A knock on my door and then it opened before I’d even said, “Who’s there?” In walked Maisie before I could get my act together.
“Hey Bon…oh shit, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” I sniffed. “What’s up?”
Maisie stepped inside and kicked the door shut before she turned to me with both hands fisted at her hips and a glare on her face.
“You tell me what’s wrong and you tell me now.”
I shook my head for a full minute, determined to keep my problems to myself. I would figure something out as soon as I stopped crying.
“Just…everything, you know?”
“I do,” she said, nodding slowly as I motioned for her to sit on the side of the bed. We settled on the bed together and she said, “I know this silent cry, Bonnie. Talk.”
Her blue gaze never wavered, filled with a combination of steel and love, pleading with me and threatening me at the same time with a look. I couldn’t fight it.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted out in a whisper. “It’s Calvin’s. Yes, I’m sure.”
“No shit,” she said, blue eyes wide, shocked as she took my hands in hers.
“Pregnant. Holy shit Bon, you’re pregnant?”
“Pregnant. Unmarried. Alone. Unemployed. Take your pick.”
“Healthy and drug-free. And having a beautiful baby. We can do this shit, Bonnie.”
I smiled. “Your language has gotten salty.”
Maisie threw her head back and laughed, and I joined in, feeling for just a moment like I was a carefree college girl again.
“Rich people curse a lot, so do the pit guys. And the players. And I like it, sometimes fuck is the word that fits best.”
“Agreed. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” I giggled like a kid. “I’m clean and sober for about six days.”
Maisie applauded my victory as I continued. “The doctor said if I stay clean, my baby will be fine. So,” I let out a long sigh about the long road ahead of me, “my baby will be just fine. Healthy anyway.”
“Of course, it will because I’ll help. You feel like you need something, call me. Even if I’m working, they’ll understand. I mean, I work for the Ashby’s. It’ll make the whales wild with jealousy, thinking there’s someone more important than them. It’ll increase my tips to spoil my niece or nephew. Oh my God, please have a little girl with adorable red hair!”
“Maisie,” I sighed on a smile, happy she could see only the good in this situation because for every thought I had of my baby’s hair and eye color, face shape, jawline…whatever, on its heels came six dozen worries about everything from black mold in a cheap apartment to skipping a trip to the doctor that I shouldn’t. I wanted to enjoy being pregnant, and I wanted to only look forward to motherhood, every first that would come my way because there was a better than good chance it would also be my last. My only.
“Sorry,” Maisie said, tucking her foot under her to get comfortable, “but this is kind of exciting. A baby!”
“Even though I’m only six days sober with no job prospects? Destined for welfare?”
“With an Ashby baby? Never. They’re freakin’ bazillionaires. They take family very seriously, just as serious as the Reckless Bastards in Mayhem and Opey.”
I shook my head, knowing that she wouldn’t get it because this was, if not normal, normal adjacent for her.
“I’m not family, but Calvin said something to make me believe that leaving Glitz is not going to be an option.”
“You want to leave?” Maisie asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t want to, but my job prospects have dried up here, and I need to be able to support myself.” There was no way I would allow myself to become dependent on someone else.