Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 72648 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72648 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Declan’s eyebrows shoot almost into his hairline. “You’re kidding?”
“Nope,” I reply with a wry smile, my gaze going to my food. Even after all this time—even having this gorgeous man in my home and knowing he’ll be in my bed tonight—it’s still embarrassing.
“You know him being gay has nothing to do with you, right?” he says, causing my eyes to snap to him. “And him hiding it from you… that has nothing to do with you either. That only speaks to him being a dick for not being truthful.”
“Yeah,” I say on a wince. “I do, deep down. I guess I just don’t understand how I didn’t see it.”
“People who don’t have the guts to be themselves and have to keep that part hidden are exceptionally good at the deception. And if you were in love with him, you wouldn’t have wanted to see it. It’s why love is tricky.”
“I’ll drink to that,” I say with a laugh, picking up my glass for a sip of wine. When I set it down, I lock eyes with him. “It’s hard for me to trust after that. Hard to trust this thing between us. We’re so different.”
He nods. “In a lot of ways, yes, but in some ways we fit together nicely.”
I give him a faux glare. “There needs to be more than sex for a relationship to work.”
“But having great sex sure helps,” he quips.
“That’s true,” I admit.
“Are you anti-relationship because of your family?” I ask. I mean, it’s only fair since he knows from where my trust issues stem.
Declan shrugs as he cuts into another bite of lasagna. “I certainly didn’t have the best role models in my parents as to what a loving relationship should be.”
“How so?”
“My father routinely has a mistress on the side,” Declan says bitterly. “When I was younger, they used to fight about it a lot. As I got older, I realized they’d come to an acceptance of sorts. My father wasn’t going to stop, and my mother wasn’t about to give up her wealthy lifestyle, so she pretended not to know.”
“That’s awful,” I murmur, amazed at how the wealthy let money dictate behavior even in the areas of love and commitment.
Declan shrugs again. “My mother gave as good as she got. She had affairs with a handful of young men. And she drank… a lot.”
I grimace. He’s matter of fact about their dysfunction. Frankly, it’s a miracle Declan isn’t a complete misogynist given his father as a role model.
“What about your sister? You two don’t seem close.”
“She’s eight years older than me, so we didn’t do much together. She and my mother are close, and she takes after her in so many ways other than looks.”
I take that to mean she probably cheats on her husband, is snobbish, and perhaps a drunk. I won’t delve into the details.
“But you’re not like your mother or your father,” I point out.
Declan tries to suppress a sardonic smile. “I’m a lot like my parents, in some ways.”
“You’re not,” I argue.
“I’m an asshole at times,” he points out. “And I can be very elitist.”
“Not to me,” I maintain. Because isn’t that what really matters?
“No, not to you,” he admits with a soft look. “I had a bit of good influence growing up. A nanny named Leonie Schmidt. She’s from Germany. She could be strict in her rules and the enforcement of them, but she was also everything my parents weren’t. Kind, loving, funny, and she was interested in me. Not because it was her job, but because she loved me.”
“She sounds wonderful,” I breathe out, feeling the tension in my chest loosen. I had not realized it was there until he talked about Leonie.
“She is,” he agrees with a fond smile. “In fact, you should come to dinner with us the next time I take her out.”
“She lives here?” I exclaim.
Declan chuckles. “She goes wherever I go. She’s in a retirement community here in Vegas.”
He describes what growing up with Leonie was like. Along with the funny and heartwarming stories, he says his family all but turned their backs on her when she got too old to look after Marissa’s kids. None of them talk to or check in on her, except Declan, and he more than just checks in.
He cares for her. Pays for her home. Visits her at least once a week for dinner. She’s traveled all over the world with him while he opens new Blackwood resorts.
She’s the mother he never had. Since she didn’t have children, he is essentially her son.
I cannot wait to meet her, and I’m warmed he wants me to. It’s not something I think would ordinarily come so fast in a relationship, but let’s face it… I’ve already met his parents and they insulted me, so why not?
We continue to talk. Because he doesn’t seem to be shy about discussing it, I ask more questions about what it was like growing up a Blackwood. As expected, it involved lavish vacations, absentee parents, the most expensive of educations, and a nanny who doted on him in an attempt to make up for the love he was otherwise lacking.