Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“Thank you,” I told them. “That will be all.”
I waited until the dining room was empty except for my brothers and me. The door shut behind the main housekeeper, and we all piled our plates with food, glasses full of orange juice for some and whiskey for others.
“All right, now that shit is all done, are we all ready to talk like fucking adults? There are too many goddamn secrets in this family for too goddamn long. It’s time to lay it all out so we can move forward as a cohesive fucking unit.”
“Sure,” Cal growled and shoved three strips of bacon in his mouth.
“You remember the beatings? Remember me and Virgil sending you to your room and telling you those games worked better with headphones?”
He nodded and let out a long sigh. “Yeah. I thought you guys were just trying to have fun without me.”
“That’s what we wanted you to think,” Virgil growled.
“But I was too curious, and I snuck up to the door, so I heard some of the fights, but I was too young to understand.” His eyes took on a faraway look as if he was searching his memory for details his kid brain hadn’t understood or couldn't process. Cal had plenty of book smarts, but we crippled him by not letting him earn some street smarts.
It was a choice Virgil and I made together, still kids ourselves, but we knew enough about the world to keep Calvin safe.
“By the time you were old enough to start playing sports or other activities, Colm was fat and happy. His debts were paid, thanks to us, so he wasn’t angry as often. The beatings slowed.”
Cal shook his head. “But they didn’t stop.”
“I know you’re angry, Cal, but we tried to keep you safe. I didn’t know about the beatings, but I should have.” I should have known that a bully like Colm wouldn’t just be satisfied to be rolling in dough, debts paid, and more power in the underworld than he deserved.
“You should have told me.”
“We didn’t fucking tell each other,” Virgil boomed. “We just decided, without fucking talking about it, that you needed to be protected. We found that fucking computer club and dug into the teacher with the squeaky clean record and encouraged you to do that instead of sports.”
“You had no right,” he insisted weakly.
“We didn’t,” I agreed. “But we were kids too, Cal. We did what we thought was best to protect you. Be pissed off all you want, but it’s done. You don’t have the nightmares or the anger. You got to be as normal as possible in this life, so you’re fucking welcome.”
Cal opened his mouth to speak, and I held up a hand to stop him.
“I’m not done, goddammit. All of this with Agent Beck and the priest murders? Sadie did that for us, you dumb fuck.”
“What?” Virgil barked in shock.
“Seriously?” Cal asked with an exhausted sigh. “Shit.” He dropped his head in shame. “I had no idea, Jas.” He looked around the table and apologized to each of us. “I’m sorry.”
I nodded my acceptance of his apology. “We were all impacted by our childhood in different ways, Calvin. We are who we are now because of that shitty ass, warped childhood. But make no mistake, we came through it alive because of Sadie.”
Cal shook his head. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. I don’t belong. I never have.”
“Bullshit,” Terry grunted.
“Terry’s right. I’m smart, even though Colm refused to let me go to college. It made me ruthless and full of vengeance. Virgil is a silent assassin, ruthless as fuck, with no problem taking a life. Just like Terry.” I sighed, thinking of how lucky we all were that Sadie was around to guide our particular talents.
“And you, Cal, are emotional, nerdy, and scary fucking smart. You think you don’t belong, but you do. You’ve done plenty to secure your spot in this beautiful, fucked up family of ours.”
Cal flashed a bittersweet smile and shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I know I’m not worthy.”
Virgil smacked the table, making everything on the top rattle. “Then work like hell to become worthy, goddammit. When Sadie wakes up, you better be right there at her side, kissing her ass twenty-four-seven. If you don’t, there will be hell to pay, and Terry won’t always be around to save you.”
Cal nodded and refilled his glass with whiskey. Damn, how much could this guy drink? “I already scrubbed all the footage of me from the night of the shooting, every second of it from the moment I left the house until I returned.”
I wanted to be mad—again—but it was what I would have told him to do. “Then we need a body. Someone to blame for the shooting.”
Virgil stood with a wicked smile and cracked his neck and shoulders. Then his knuckles. “You still have any pieces of the asshole who went after Mo?”