Who’s Your Daddy Read Online Lauren Rowe

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 111732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 372(@300wpm)
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My car parked, I turn off the engine and check my texts—and a message from Lucy prompts me to call her back immediately, rather than exiting my vehicle.

“Grayson proposed after I left?” I shriek. “And Selena said yes?”

“Yes!” Lucy shrieks, before filling me in on all the juicy details. In wrap-up, Lucy says, “Selena is over the moon. I’ve never seen her so happy.”

“You’re still at the party?”

“Yep.”

“Hug her for me. I’ll text her now to congratulate her and apologize for dipping out without saying goodbye, but please tell her I’ll call her tomorrow to get the whole story.”

“Will do. Why’d you leave so suddenly? Is Ripley okay?”

“Oh, girl. You’re never going to believe this.”

I tell Lucy the whole story of what I did with Max in Selena’s house, and how I saw Geraldine’s photo on Max’s phone afterwards—and how I quickly deduced from the photo I’d fucked both my old yoga friend’s ex-husband and son. And true to form, Lucy finds the entire situation hysterical.

“It’s not funny, Lu,” I say. “It’s a total clusterfuck.”

“Why? I understand why you might be feeling creeped out that you fucked your friend’s son—”

“And her ex!”

“But it’s not like Max is Geraldine’s teenage son and you’re his math tutor. He’s a grown-ass man with a big dick who knows full well how to use it. Plus, you haven’t seen Geraldine in over a year, right? So, it’s not like you two are besties.”

She’s right about that. As much as I adored seeing Geraldine every week in yoga class, and also thoroughly enjoyed introducing her to my friends at that monthly dinner, we lost touch after Ripley and I moved in with Dad.

I palm my forehead. “When I talked about Mr. BDE during that dinner Geraldine joined, I was unwittingly talking to her the whole time about her fucking ex-husband, Lucy.”

Lucy guffaws.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s hilarious.”

“I feel sick.”

“Why? You didn’t know Geraldine’s connection to Mr. BDE when you invited her to dinner. And you didn’t know Max was Alexander’s son when you fucked him after Captain’s.”

“I sure as hell knew Max was Alexander’s son when I fucked him today at Selena’s. That makes me a truly horrible person who’s going to hell.”

“Bah,” Lucy says. “Mr. BDE is old news. You haven’t seen or talked to him, even once, since you screwed Max, right?”

“True.”

“It’s not like the man’s dick left a permanent mark on your vagina. You’re allowed to fuck another grown man.”

“But not his son.”

Lucy giggles. “I can’t believe you fucked Max again at the party. I knew the second you laid eyes on him today you wouldn’t be able to resist him for long, but I didn’t think you’d fuck him today. Girl, you got that dick inside you fast.”

I can’t help giggling. “You’re not helping, Lu. I shouldn’t be laughing. This is bad.”

“Well, the good news is nobody will ever know. You’re never going to see Geraldine again, right?”

“Probably not.”

“And you’re never going to see Max again, either.”

“That’s for fucking sure.” I exhale. “Even if I wanted to see him, which I don’t, he’d never give me the time of day again. He hated me before today, so I can’t even imagine how much he despises me now.”

“He didn’t hate you too much to fuck you today.”

I shudder. “Oh, God, it was so hot.”

She laughs. “Why didn’t you just tell the poor man you’d recognized the photo of his mother?”

“I panicked. It felt like a repeat of the thing with Alexander. Like déjà vu. When I saw Geraldine’s face, I felt exactly how I felt when I saw that framed photo of Alexander in Max’s kitchen. It was like the universe was screaming at me, once again, ‘You’ve got no business messing around with this man!’” I run my palm down my face. “I can’t believe I knowingly fucked Alexander’s son this time. I really am going to hell if there is one. Please, write me postcards from heaven, so I don’t get too lonely down there.”

“Meh. If there’s a hell, I’d rather hang out with you there than with all the boring goody-two shoes do-gooders upstairs. As long as you bring chocolate, graham crackers, and marshmallows for s’mores, count me in.”

I giggle. “I love you so much.”

“I love you back, Marnie Girl. Truly, the universe doesn’t care if you screw Max, no matter who his parents might be. The universe has much more important things to think about than your sex life, as exciting as it might be.”

“Exciting? Ha! Other than Max, I’ve screwed exactly zero people in the last year and a half. I haven’t been living up to my billing as a femme fatale lately.”

Lucy snickers. “Was Max as good as you remembered?”

“Better. So much better.”

“How is that possible? Last time, you said he was at the tippy-top of your Hall of Fame.”


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