Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 74196 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74196 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
I know the laws are what they are, but she doesn’t belong to just me.
She’s… ours. And we’re hers.
As if reading what I’m thinking on my face, in that annoying way my twin sometimes has, Leander claps a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll make it right.”
I look in the mirror and into his eyes, and nod. “Okay.”
“Now buck up, dumbass. We’re about to see our gorgeous woman in white, walking down the aisle. Let’s go give her something to walk towards.”
LEANDER
The music almost plays loud enough not to be drowned out by the helicopters. We escaped LA to come to a Bay Area winery at the top of a mountain for privacy. Or at least the appearance of it.
It is beautiful up here. The building behind us is old stone with a sign that says it was established in the 1870’s. There are vineyards in the distance with glistening vines as the sun begins to set. A red carpet has been rolled out to create an aisle between the exclusive seating—each chair wrapped in white organza with roses tucked in the back.
And there’s an archway stuffed with flowers both at the front and back of the aisle.
Whoever decorated the place knew what they were doing.
It’s just… all those chairs are filled with a bunch of fuckers I don’t really care about—your standard industry who’s who. They’ll feel grateful for the invitation and will secretly try to snap pics and tell stories about what the cuisine was like to gossip rags for weeks to come.
Hope’s parents are here too—I met them once before when they finally decided to come meet the babies. They were as unpleasant as Hope always described and at the end, her father took me aside and asked me for a ‘donation’ to give to his church. I flatly told him no and we never heard from them again.
But Hope thought that since the wedding would be so public we ought to invite them, and to my surprise they came. They’re sitting stiffly in the front row, both mother and father wearing black, as if they’re at a funeral.
But really, I don’t give a shit about anyone except Hope as she starts down the aisle. We both decided her father would not be giving her away. Instead, it’s Milo at her arm leading her down to Janus, and me where I stand as his best man.
I try not to stare agog at her. I mean, I’m a good actor and the whole point is not to show my feelings…
But she’s fucking breathtaking in her billowy white gown, a delicate lace V bodice cupping her always luscious breasts.
Her long hair is curled and pinned around her head like a crown, with wisps escaping around her face.
And she’s glowing as she holds the bouquet and keeps her eyes locked on Janus. Milo’s tall at her side as he walks her down the aisle.
It only cuts a little that her eyes don’t come my way as she walks that aisle in this fairytale setting—minus the copter that swings round again.
And I’m angry all over again at this life I chose for myself… or let myself be caged by. I’m still not sure which it actually was, I was so young. But I’m choosing now, going forwards. Still, because of the choices I’ve made, it’s my brother who gets to grasp Hope’s hand in front of all these people today, in front of the minister holding the bible. And I’ll just have to bear the jealous ache that it’s not me by her side.
It can’t always be you.
A hard but necessary pill to swallow.
Janus’s eyes flicker my way for just a moment before going back to Hope’s as the minister starts the ceremony that will make her his wife.
I’m ashamed for my feelings, knowing I ought to be more generous. I will begrudge my brother nothing this day.
It is a decision to no longer be locked in competition with one another. One I will see through.
Still, it takes everything in me not to look away from the beaming couple, who look so perfect up there together. Like a wedding cake topper.
But I’m being watched. So many eyes on this performance. So I keep my smile wide and generous as I watch and can only hope my heart will follow.
MILO
The ceremony’s pretty with all the flowers around and the orchestra playing…
But it’s boring as shit. Why do people read from the bible at these things? We don’t go to church. Why do we care what’s in that book?
Halfway through, I’m honest with myself. I hate weddings. Always have. Maybe I’d find my own interesting. But this standing off to the side beside Leander as a groomsman in a stiff, over-starched tux while Janus marries who I already consider my wife?
Eh, it’s kinda bullshit. But Leander was pretty emphatic we had to make it look good.