Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 108342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
“I told her to not call me until she got that son of a bitch out of her system because I wasn’t going to let her use me to complain about him anymore, but then not do something about it. I told her she needed to see a therapist because she was dealing with a man who was mentally and emotionally abusive, and I’d had enough. I figured that would wake her up. Nikolai… it didn’t wake her up…” She gripped her knees hard and it was apparent she was on the verge of hyperventilating.
“What happened, Porsche?”
“She took a bunch of pills yesterday, and… and she left a note, talkin’ about she didn’t want to live anymore because he didn’t want her no more…” Her voice trembled as she was gasping for air, gasping for a breath to complete her next thought. “Her mother called and told me what happened! She’s gone. My friend isn’t alive anymore! It’s all my fault!” She began to shake and reach toward the heavens, as if perhaps God would return Yashi to her. Give her a second chance at life. “YASHI, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I’M SO SORRY! OH, MY GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!”
Nikolai quickly jumped into action and rushed to gather her in his arms. He held and squeezed her as she cried like a baby, slumped forward in the chair, her body against his, shuddering. He let her unleash. Curse. Fall apart. Her cries were chilling. Her moans deep and choppy like the sea. His neck was soon wet from her outpouring. Baptized by her vulnerability.
“No. I’m not going to let you do this to yourself, baby.” He ran his hand up and down her back as she sobbed. “You aren’t to blame.” He patted the back of her head, then kissed her cheek as she pressed her face against his chest. “She knew you were right. She just… she just couldn’t take action. Sometimes when someone we love is hurting themselves, we have to give them tough love. If they don’t accept the love and instead, turn their misery onto themselves, or sometimes other people, we know that we did all we could… that our heart was in the right place. You didn’t do this. She did. She knows you loved her. You’re not responsible.”
Ralph Tresvant’s, ‘Sensitivity’ played on through the speakers while he rocked her in his arms. They stayed that way a long while, and if she needed forever, he’d give her that, too…
…Two weeks later
“No, it’s cute.”
She noted the twinkle in his eyes before he burst out laughing.
“Look, I didn’t invite you over here to make fun of my choices in art.” Porsche smirked as she refreshed his glass of wine. On her dining room wall was a black and white framed photograph of a doll. Nikolai said it was creepy, and that’s what got him laughing and her defending her artistic tastes. She sat across from him at her dining room table as ‘Head Over Heels,’ by Tears for Fears, played on.
“Well, what are your plans for the rest of the week?” he asked as he worked his tongue around in his mouth.
His cheek poked out as his tongue roved, perhaps trying to remove a piece of steak from between his teeth. She didn’t cook often, so when she’d invited him over, she figured she’d give him a home-cooked meal, but the damn meat was tough. He’d been a gentleman and didn’t complain.
“Well, now that I’m back from the funeral, I have to get back into the swing of things. I took a few days off to regroup, but I’ve got bills to pay and things to do, so…” She shrugged. “Back to the grind I go. The service was really nice, though…”
They were quiet for a bit. He leaned back in his chair, running his hand slowly over his chest. His eyes hooded, he shifted in his seat then clasped his hands.
“I’m glad you’re back home. I know it was tough for you, but the tribute you gave to her during the service was nice. I bet it helped you process everything. You’re still her friend, Porsche.”
She’d read him her speech that she’d planned to share at the funeral before she left for Boston, asking his opinion on it. Nikolai was rather blunt, and that’s what she wanted. An honest critique. He gave her a standing ovation, then made love to her like she’d never been touched before…
“Anyway, let’s talk about something else, okay?” She placed her napkin on the table, and slapped her thighs, sitting straight up. “I think I’ve cried enough to fill an entire river.” Popping up from her seat with a forced spring in her step, she began clearing the table.
“Let me help you,” he offered. “He followed behind her to the kitchen, his utensils and empty plate in hand.” They stood side by side at the sink, laughing and discussing what new movies were out that they may go and see together.