Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 108342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
“Heartbreak Hotel.” He chuckled, then patted her back. “I have a key to every damn door in that place.”
“In order to be heartbroken though, you have to care. I was losing my humanity. It wasn’t a good marriage anyway, but my demanding job, havin’ to leave at all hours of the night and be right back at work put the final nail in the coffin. My mother is amazing. It takes a strong person to be married to a police officer.”
“You got that right. I think with the divorce rates ’nd such, most folks shouldn’t be married from the get-go.”
“You’re probably right. Some say monogamy is a farce, and the biggest fraud and lie we’ve ever been told.”
“I’m not much into philosophy… I’m kinda old fashioned, I guess, but I recognize the benefits of monogamy. I recognize the bullshit in it, too.”
They both laughed at that.
“Yeah, there’s definitely pros and cons. I like being in relationships, but they have to be solid. I’d like to be married again, actually. With a man who’s confident and sure of himself. Someone who I don’t have to babysit their feelings.” She sucked her teeth. “Because of our jobs, we’re forever changed. There are problems, too. The pay never matches the servitude. The servitude taxes your mind, body and soul, and yet, we choose it over our marriages without even knowing it.”
“We have to. We’re public servants.”
“Yeah…” She looked over to her right and saw a woman sitting on a gentleman’s lap. His hand meandered slowly but surely up her leg, then under her skirt. He was no gentleman after all. She turned back towards Captain White who was glancing at his watch. “You need to leave?”
“Nope. Just surprised no one has bothered me for a full thirty minutes.”
She understood that way too well. Always on call. Always on the job.
“Captain, what is one of your biggest pet peeves about being an officer in Portland?”
“People see us in extremes. We’re either superheroes or some horrible villain wearing a badge. Worshiped, or hated. That’s too much to put on someone. I hate that so many of us get a bad rap. I mean, yeah, there’s bullshit in everything, ya know? But some of us actually give a damn, and I’m tired of the accusations that we’re not doing enough to solve these murderers. Police Chief Lewis is at his wits’ end. I’ve got patrol on the beach right now, ’round the clock. Speaking of that, my wife says if I gave her just one hour a day, she’d get more time with me than she has in the past decade.” He scoffed, rolled his eyes then smirked.
“Sometimes we can use our work as an excuse to get away from our partners, though. A convenient excuse. Valid, but convenient. When you realize you married the wrong person but rarely have to see them, you feel okay about the mistake. They’re payin’ half the bills, and you don’t have to talk to them or fuck them.” She chuckled.
“Wow. You must’ve hated your ex-husband.”
“Eh…” She shrugged. “My ex-husband was a real piece of work. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t perfect, either, no one is, but we just weren’t compatible because when it comes to relationships for me, respect and compatibility is key. Tell me what you’re feeling and thinking, but don’t be a baby about it, and I don’t like being guilted or manipulated, either. Hell, he knew I was a cop when he met me… we met at the gym. He was a personal trainer at the time. He was always whining and a victim in his own mind. It turned me off.” She tsked.
“My ex-wife filed for divorce and moved out by the time I came back home. I was shocked, but relieved. Sounds awful… but it’s the truth.”
“Hey, it is what it is. Some of us have a savior complex. Some of us are sadists. Some of us are masochists and martyrs.”
“Which one were you?”
She sat there, legs crossed, rocking one leg back and forth.
“That’s a good question. Definitely not a martyr. I own my shit, and rarely see myself as a casualty. If I had to choose, I’d say savior complex, but if you get on my bad side, I can turn into an entire monster.” She sighed and shook her head. “Not proud of it, but it’s true. Professionally, I’ve kept my cool for the most part, but as for affairs of the heart? My life behind closed doors? I can be a hopeless romantic, and that kinda sucks. I tend to get in deep, but I always have an exit plan so I can get out quickly. Did that with the ex-husband.
“His name was Shawn by the way… calling him the ex seems a bit impersonal. Anyway, after he told me he wanted out, I filed for divorce … saved him the hassle. He wasn’t supportive or understanding, anyway. He confessed to cheating right after I told him I wanted him to stand on his word and move out. I think he thought I was going to start crying or something. I didn’t.” She shook her head. “Told me I was a terrible wife, I didn’t spend time at home, didn’t cook.” She rolled her eyes. “Said he was lonely, and it was all my fault. I told him to get a blow-up doll or pocket pussy. Then I confronted him about the affair I knew he was having, anyway. I have no idea how he thought he could keep that from me… me, of all people.” She pointed to herself, and took another taste of her drink. “He wasn’t a good liar, and he wasn’t a good cheater.