Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 126547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
He’d be gone from Emil’s life, like everyone else.
“Is he awake?” Adam stormed into the room, dressed in a cassock. His forehead was wrinkled with worry, and he put down a glass of water, nudging it across the side table. For a moment, it seemed he was about to lean in and sit on Emil’s bed, but he must have remembered about the pastor’s presence and walked across the small room to rest on the other bed.
Father Marek exhaled and finished his tea. “I’m sorry about your home, but at least you’re alive. That’s all that counts. Earthly possessions can be replaced.”
Emil knew Father Marek had the best intentions, but this was the last thing he wanted to hear. “Leave me the fuck alone.” He felt sick thinking about Leia, about the chickens, the infusions he and Adam worked so hard on, and all the family heirlooms lost to the fire. He’d never get any of it back.
The pastor opened his mouth, brows lowering in anger, but Adam got up and stepped closer, tense as a string in his somber outfit. “I’ll take it from here. He’s in shock.”
Father Marek chewed on unspoken words and rose, muttering something too quietly for Emil to hear. “Very well. I’m sorry this happened. You need to remember you have friends at this parsonage,” he said and backed out through the open door.
Emil looked up at Adam as soon as the door was shut. “Tell me it’s not real.”
Adam stood still, his shoulders low as he studied Emil before doing what he’d clearly wanted to before. He sat at the edge of Emil’s bed and brushed the back of his hand along Emil’s jaw.
“I am so sorry.”
“Is Jinx hurt?” he asked in a voice so deflated he hardly recognized it as his own.
Adam’s lips curved into the slightest of smiles, and he leaned down, caressing Emil’s cheeks with his thumbs. “He’s fine. One of your neighbors took him in for the time being. He’s safe. And so are you.”
“Are they still putting it out? Maybe I should go—” He closed his fingers on Adam’s hand, but the moment their eyes met, he saw there was no hope left.
“I’m sorry. It collapsed. Last time I heard, the fire had been extinguished. They might investigate how it happened, but you should rest for now. Please,” he said and pressed a soft kiss to Emil’s forehead.
Emil let out a bitter laugh and covered his face. “I thought my life has been bad until now, but this takes the cake. I just can’t win, can I?”
“Don’t say that. I know this is hard, but my offer still stands. I’m sure my parents will agree to house you until you find a job and a place of your own,” Adam insisted, petting Emil, but even the tender touch caused him pain as if he’d been burned.
The gentle words were like claws, and they scratched his skin until he bled. He wasn’t a stray dog in need of charity. He’d been on his own for so many years and longed to prove himself to the one person who believed in him. But he was just a man all the same, and the sense of loss created a gash in his chest, a gash that kept growing and which would eventually swallow him from the inside. “Can you just be with me now?” he asked, pulling on Adam’s sleeve.
The sharp intake of breath meant Adam understood, and his gaze drifted to the door, which had no lock. Adam excused himself and blocked the handle with a chair before returning to Emil’s side in the faint light of the small lamp.
“I’ve got you,” he said as he lay down next to Emil in the narrow bed and put his arms around him in a hug Emil so craved.
Emil’s walls cracked with shame. “I’m not weak. I want to be your rock, but there’s only so much a man can do when falling down a bottomless pit.” He hugged Adam back and took a long inhale of his scent. He must have showered because there wasn’t even a trace of smoke in his soft hair. “I will get my shit together.”
“I know you will,” Adam said and kissed the top of Emil’s head, shifting to pull it to his chest. He hadn’t used his usual cologne and now smelled of generic soap, but everything gained an alluring quality on his skin, and Emil found himself closing his eyes and breathing in the aroma.
He couldn’t think of a safer cocoon to ride out this storm in than Adam. It only took a small move to roll on top of him and kiss the soft lips.
“I just don’t want to deal with any of it until tomorrow.”
Adam’s body sank into the mattress as he exhaled, watching Emil from behind his long lashes. “I won’t leave your side.”