Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 126547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
The sky was overcast with fluffy clouds, which obscured the sun, turning everything around that bit colder. The parsonage, which had been his home for long months now seemed as alien as the valley had been when he went on his first walk here, but he would soon leave this now-familiar place behind anyway.
He’d secretly hoped to still bump into Emil upon his arrival, but the room where they’d shared a bed just this morning was empty, all of Emil’s things gone, including the T-shirt Adam had slept in. Only the scent of Emil’s cologne still hung in the air, curling around him in a pull that might have led Adam all the way back to Emil if he chose to follow the wordless calling.
The scent alone was making him salivate and think back to kissing Emil’s delicious skin. No one had ever made Adam feel the way Emil had, but that was why sin was tempting in the first place. If felt good to sin. When he’d eaten six donuts in one go, or when he’d masturbated for the first time, pleasure was the thick perfume masking the odor of moral depravity.
All the signs pointed to Emil having connections to the demon, yet Adam had chosen to overlook them because being with him felt so good.
Because Adam loved him, no matter how wrong it was.
He sank to the unmade bed and looked at the wall on the opposite side, at the cross above the other bed, at the old chest of drawers that held most of his belongings. This wasn’t a place of his own, and it was something he needed to get used to, because his home was within the Church, not in a particular city, or with another person.
It was better this way, despite the emptiness left behind by Emil already putting pressure on his ribs and causing so much pain it felt as if they were about to break and pierce his organs.
Forced by helpless craving, Adam pulled the pillow to his face and smelled where Emil’s head had earlier laid. He could almost sense the luscious long hair against his skin. He denied himself, pushed Emil away because it was the right thing to do, the sensible thing, yet he still wanted Emil so badly he could hardly stand it.
And he hadn’t even tasted everything Emil had been willing to offer. No matter how sated Adam had been after the sex, he had a dark lust for more, and he didn’t know if he could blame that on Emil. He’d imagined being on top of Emil and witnessing the handsome face twisting in pleasure, all flushed and gorgeous as Adam breathed in the scent of his hair and pushed deep inside him, rocking his hips against Emil’s dimpled ass.
A knock on the door startled him so much he let out a yelp and rolled back into a sitting position just in time before Mrs. Janina’s head popped in through the open door. Her presence was literally the last thing he needed, but he clasped his hands and cleared his throat in an attempt to get rid of the uncomfortable thickness there.
“Everything’s been a bit erratic. Emil moved out. As you know,” he said softly.
“Hm. I’ve heard he took his horse with him. Do you have any idea where he might be? Awful to be out on a night like this. November starts tomorrow.”
Adam rubbed his knees, trying to keep his face expressionless, but his resolve was crumbling. “No. I have no idea.”
He hoped he gave off vibes of ‘leave me alone’, but Mrs. Janina pressed on. “Shouldn’t you find out? Are you all right, Father?”
Adam clenched his jaw, fighting the need to confide in someone even if he could share only a partial truth.
The housekeeper continued before he could speak. “I’ll make you some tea, and you might want to contact your mother. She called while you were away.”
Adam’s breath caught, and he stood without thinking. “Of course. Thank you.”
She offered him a smile and led the way down the corridor, with Adam following her like a shadow. The walls, the wooden floors he’s grown so accustomed to seemed cold and uninviting without Emil’s presence.
He walked through the large kitchen that smelled of cookies, and while he did smile back at Mrs. Janina when she met his gaze, the quiet of the small dining room brought him peace.
Mrs. Janina gave him privacy and left the room when he called his mom. They spoke every now and then, but these calls had become hard over the summer when he had no other way but to lie to her about what he was up to. He hadn’t asked her if Emil could stay at theirs, unwilling to have to deal with all the questions she’d surely have.
His soul was a black hole that sucked in everything around it, and if he wasn’t careful, it would eventually infect everyone dear to him.