Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 77842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
“Oh my God, I’m so excited for you!” She looks up at me, her eyes bright with delight. “You know, if you’re looking for a bridesmaid, I have taken on the role with honor six times!”
“Oh, wow!” I laugh.
“Are you excited to plan the wedding? Flowers, cake, your dress?” She becomes giddy. Butterflies nosedive inside my stomach. I have to plan a wedding. I’m actually getting married again, after I said I never would. I look at Heston, who is talking to Owen and Flynn, nerves taking over. Cam’s destructive words sear through what’s supposed to be a happy moment.
“Nobody will marry you. You should feel lucky I even did!”
“So, what’s your last name going to be? I don’t think I’ve heard Heston mention it,” Tenly continues, prodding.
Through the roller coaster of emotions, I say, “Um…Thayer.”
“Rain Thayer. Interesting.” Her grin morphs into a presentable smirk, but I can’t overthink what she means by it because…I’m already unraveling where I stand. The fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants’ era is over, and now we make it official. Realization sets in. I’m agreeing to give another person my heart, when I haven’t even fully healed from the first time.
I’m terrified of, once again, becoming attached to someone else’s life, just so they can fool me and leave me without any friends or family. Cam and I were fine until we signed those damn papers. They’re like a bad omen, signing away your soul.
My chest feels tight. I can’t breathe through my nose. I open my mouth, pulling in fresh air.
“Mom!” Paige’s voice breaks through my PTSD, her cheeks red from the heat, her skin glowing against her ivory sundress. Holding my arms out, she rushes into them and hugs me, and I kiss her on top of the head. “Did you know about this?”
She looks up at me, freckles on her nose like the stars in the sky.
“Yep. He told me this morning.”
I rub my thumb over her cheek, and she pulls away. Too much physical contact. I’m embarrassing her, I’m sure.
“So, you’re okay with this?” I ask her.
She shrugs, looks at Heston for a second, then back to me.
“I just want you to be happy, Mom. If you’re in a good place, we’re in a good place, ya know?” She’s right. When Cam and I were at our worst, Paige felt it. Seeing me at my best makes her relaxed and content. I’m second-guessing things—which is normal for every couple, even the ones who stay married for life. Having this ring on my finger means I’ll never be alone again. I’ll always have his love until the day we die. I don’t have to worry that a fight will end in a break-up, we’ll work it out and move forward.
Everything is going to fine.
We’re fine.
“Yeah, I’m starting to.” I smile.
22
The next night is uneventful. I find myself sitting on the couch, my legs tucked under me, leaning against the arm, scrolling through social media while listening to Bridgerton in the background. Owen seemed pretty excited about the show, so I thought I’d give it a try. Looking at flowers and wedding dresses on my phone causes a tension headache to form. It’s all so overwhelming. The smell of pepper and soap fill the air while Heston takes a shower in our room. I think about joining him, knowing my body craves an orgasm. Standing up and headed that way, tires squeal outside, causing me to freeze and look out the window to see what is going on. Owen stands in the driveway with Flynn peeling away in their blue smart car. Owen throws his hands up and marches back inside, where he slams the door. I don’t think I’ve seen them angry at one another, let alone an actual fight. It must be serious. Sitting back on the couch, I grab my phone and text Owen.
Me: Everything okay?
It shows that he’s seen it. Time stands still while I wait for him to reply. Maybe I shouldn’t have made it so apparent I was spying out the window.
A swoosh sounds, alerting me to his reply.
Owen: Fine. Flynn’s being cranky, and me having a soul and feelings conflicts with his emotionless heart.
Light laughter fills my heart at Owen’s insufferable need for drama.
Me: Let me know if I need to bring wine over!
Owen: Save it for Friday when we come over to gush over you and that ring on your finger.
Raising my left hand, I look at the ring, my stomach still uneasy. I was hoping the nerves would pass and my fear would diminish. They haven’t. There’s something about that piece of paper that changes people and I don’t see why we need it to be together. I can wear the ring, have a small gathering, and be just as happy. But I’m not sure Heston will see it that way. He was already talking about churches and catering last night.