Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
And even if we weren’t, we still have this Mallory thing looming over us. Unfortunately, I agree with him that it wasn’t an accident. I don’t know how I let myself believe it was. The more I think about it, the shadier it all is. For a second time, I squeeze my eyes shut and try to replay what I remember from that night, but I hit the same dead end.
I just need to prove that my stepfather had nothing to do with what happened that night. Yes, he was there, but he was only there to get an alibi for a client of his. I believe that to be true. I just hope I can convince Finn. I lift my phone and hold my breath as I type.
Me: what other “proof” do you have on Titus?
His response comes surprisingly fast.
Finn: I can’t send it on here
Me: you sent footage on here
Finn: a lapse in judgment
I don’t know why, but his words sink into my chest like a knife. It feels like he’s saying that about me. About us. I’m probably just overthinking it since I’m hurt that he dropped me so quickly, but still. A lapse in judgment. I shouldn’t have texted him. I set my phone down with shaky hands, but at the last minute, I pick it up and furiously type out a response.
Me: kind of how you feel about us then
This time, I set my phone on Do Not Disturb mode where only a handful of people have access to interrupt me. None of which include Finn Barlow. In the shower, the knot in my throat gets bigger, and finally, the sob I’d been trying to hold back bursts out of me. Fuck him for making me cry. Fuck him for making me feel things. Ultimately, this is my fault, though.
I knew what this was when I went into it. I knew what it was four years ago, and I knew what it was the night of my birthday at Pure. And still, I feel this way. My head and my heart are at war and I’m the only one losing. I cry until I feel like I’ve purged him from my life, and then finish getting ready.
Once I’m dressed and my hair and makeup are done, I upload a video I shot yesterday when I was trying on activewear from one of my sponsors. I take a very deep breath and look for John’s phone number.
“John speaking,” he says after two rings.
“Hey, John,” I say. “This is Josslyn. We met the other night at Onyx. Scarlet intro—”
“Yes, Josslyn. Of course. How could I forget?” he says, a smile in his voice. “What can I do for you?”
“You told me to call when I was interested in joining the group my friend was always raving about,” I say.
It’s a damn lie, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“Of course,” he says. “Unfortunately, Onyx is hosting a joint bachelor/bachelorette party tonight, so Leo reserved some rooms at the speakeasy at Pearl. Do you know where that is?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll let Leo know you’re going,” he says. “A couple of them haven’t been in a while, but most of the people your friend used to have fun with will be there.”
“Okay. I’ll be there.” I can barely talk with my heart beating so wildly.
“Call Leo when you get there. I’ll send you his information now,” he says. “I hope you enjoy yourself. I’ll be back next week and would love to see you.”
There’s no missing what he’s hinting at, but as uncomfortable as it makes me, I make a pitiful attempt to laugh.
“Sure. Thanks, John.”
I hang up before he gets another word in and rub my arms to rid myself of the goosebumps. I stare at my phone for a while, waiting for his text, when I remember I’m on Do Not Disturb. I add John to my list. I don’t switch it out of that mode, out of fear that Finn responded to my text with something hurtful. I push the thought aside. If Livie were in my situation, I would have already told her to walk away and forget about him. I decide I’m going to take my own advice for once.
I knew he would be unforgettable from the start. I knew hooking up with him would lead to heartache. I knew it and I did it anyway, and when he kept coming back, I tried hard not to hope, but I lost that battle as well.
I take a couple of deep breaths and spend a few moments centering myself before I leave. When I’m ready, I roll my shoulders back, grab my purse, and head out.
I text Leo after handing my keys to the valet, then follow his instructions on how to get into the speakeasy. When I get to the door, he’s already there waiting for me with a smile on his face. He’s really hot for an old guy. He totally leans into the silver fox thing, and even though he’s been wearing a suit both times I’ve seen him, I can tell he has a good body underneath it. He has a sparkle in his eyes and keeps three buttons of his dress shirt open to show a sliver of light brown skin.