Total pages in book: 159
Estimated words: 144433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 722(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 481(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 144433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 722(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 481(@300wpm)
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
ZHUR
My new life on this planet is one unbearable agony after another...and it hasn't even been a full day yet. My skin itches underneath my fur from her cheap soaps, and my once-pampered mane feels like hay. Despite these indignities, I shall persevere. Perhaps a good night's sleep will make things seem not so dire.
We eat a quiet, terrible dinner with only one course. It's some sort of stew that seems to be more veg than meat, but clearly the human lacks funding as well as intelligence. I'll have to contact my stewards somehow to access my funds. I can't be expected to starve in exile. I rub my eyes, weary from the weight of everything crushing me down.
Sleep. That's what I need.
I get to my feet, picking up the rough towel that the human insists I wear across my genitals while we eat. She says she does not want me “balls out” during dinner. "I am tired and wish to sleep now."
"Great, I'll get you a blanket."
Her choice of words is curious to me. "You do not utilize the blankets on the bed?"
She pauses and then gives her head a strange little shake, as if she's confused by my words. "You get the couch, dude."
"I do not follow."
"The bed is mine. You get the couch and a blanket."
"You will not let me sleep in the bed? There is room for both of us." It is not the largest bed and it is strangely rectangular instead of a nice, comfortable disc shape, but I've slept in worse...actually just the stasis pod was worse. Right now, my day is going so badly I don't even care. I just want to sleep and have this day over.
"I made you a bed," Meev exclaims. She heads into the bedroom and picks up a blanket-filled basket the size of my head. "This right here. Because you're supposed to be a house cat."
"You blame me as if this is my fault. I merely woke up here. Is this why you're refusing me, human?" I draw myself up to my full, proud height, trying not to let the humiliation of what she's suggesting get under my fur. "You do know that in my culture, it is considered a grave insult to not let someone sleep in the community bed?"
She puts a hand up. "I'm going to stop you right there. My bed is not community anything. It's meant for me and only me. That's a human thing."
"Well, you are hosting a praxiian. And I would be gravely insulted to be treated like filth. Like I'm not good enough to share your blankets." I let my nostrils flare indignantly. "I realize you are ignorant, so I am informing you of my people's customs. The last time a praxiian was refused shared sleeping, a war broke out."
Meev holds the basket in front of her, her brows drawing together as if she's just now realizing how important this sort of thing is to my culture. "You're telling me I have to buddy-sleep with you so war doesn't break out?"
"Indeed." She doesn't need to know that I don't have access to my troops or my funds or my anything. She's just a servant after all, and an impossible one.
Her jaw clenches and I can tell she's considering this. "What if we're in the same bed but separate blankets?"
"Acceptable."
"Will you wear pants?"
I narrow my eyes at her. "I would if they fit my groin properly. But those pants? No. I will not be able to sleep with my sac in a vise."
She considers this, turning to eye her bed again. "Separate blankets, I'm sleeping fully clothed, and I get to bring a weapon to bed with me. And if you try anything—even scratching your own balls—I'm shooting you. Understand?"
My lip curls. "You seem to think you're irresistible. I'm not sure where you acquired such a narrative, but rest assured, I have no desire to touch you. I don't kef the staff."
Her brows go up, and then she barks out a laugh. "I should be offended at how grossed out you sound, but hearing that is a good thing." She points a finger at me, wiggling it. "As for the “narrative” of me being irresistible, I'm a human woman alone. We're not safe on Earth when we're alone with a strange man. It's even worse out here. Of course I'm going to shoot first and ask questions later. So like I said, if you value your junk, don't touch it."
I am skeptical it is truly as dire for her people as she suggests, but I shrug. I don't care. I just want to sleep on a mattress, and again she launches into the history of her people. "I merely want to sleep."
"Okay, fine. I'll get a knife." She holds the blanket out to me. "I can't believe I'm doing this, but I guess if you're going to overpower me or try to kill me, you'd have done so already, right? Right. So take this and get comfortable, and I'll be back in a jiff." She heads for the door and then pauses. "No hogging the bed."