Total pages in book: 149
Estimated words: 135784 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 679(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135784 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 679(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
There's a knock at the lavatory door.
Because of course there is. "Go away," I call out from the shower. "I'm trying to wash up in peace."
The door rattles and I bite back a groan as Sophie pushes it open. I turn my back to her, covering my cock. "What the kef are you doing?"
"I'm coming in since you won't talk to me." Her words are brave, but there's a wobbly note in her voice. "You helped me shower, now it's my turn to help you."
I sputter at that. "I don't need help."
"I don't care." I hear the sound of Sophie stripping off her clothing and her boots hitting the floor. A moment later, she comes around the barrier and moves to my side. "Look at me, please."
I've been staring grimly at the gray metal walls of the station so I don't have to make eye contact with her. "Sophie, let it go."
"No." She sucks in a deep breath. "I messed up. I shouldn't have said that. About being friends."
I glance over at her. I can't decide if this is getting worse or better.
She crosses her arms under her breasts and it pushes them up, forcing me to notice them. Her skin is pebbled with bumps all over, and I realize she's cold. With a sigh, I take her by the shoulders and maneuver her under the warm spray. "Say what you have to and then get out."
"I don't know what I want," she blurts. The look she gives me is desperate. "When I first…got free…" She swallows hard and looks away, her expression stark.
"You don't have to say anything," I break in gently.
"I do. I do." Sophie sucks in a deep breath. She meets my gaze and offers me a timid smile, and then continues. "When I got free…I was so full of anger and hurt that I didn't want anyone to ever touch me again. I didn't want friends. I didn't want to get close to anyone. I just wanted to be left alone. That was why I liked being with the va Sithai brothers. They fed me and gave me somewhere to sleep and then went about their day. I haven't met a lot of aliens that didn't want me to just jump into bed with them. Most think I'm just good for sex."
I grunt.
"But after a few weeks of freedom, all that anger and frustration turned into fear." She shivers again, and I realize it's not the atmosphere as much as Sophie's just full of emotion. Her mouth works, as if she's having to consider her words carefully, and she averts her gaze. "I've been scared ever since, and I'm not entirely sure what I'm scared of."
"Going back?" I offer.
"No. I'll kill myself if that happens," she tells me bluntly.
Now I'm the one scared. "No, you won't—"
"Don't tell me what to do, Jerrok. And don't interrupt me." She lifts her chin and gives me a stubborn look.
I fight back a smile. This is the dumbest conversation to have in a shower, but I don't want her to stop talking. I like that she's being stubborn. I like that she's showing some spirit. I know it's difficult for her, so I give her a small nod. "All right. No interrupting."
Sophie takes a deep breath and stares at my chest. Then, she exhales deeply and meets my gaze. "I've been scared of everything for a while. That's not who I am. At least, it's not who I think I am. But I can't seem to snap out of this funk, this constant fear that everything I've fought so hard for is going to disappear out from under me again." She blinks rapidly and then offers a meek addition. "And…I like you, and that scares me."
"I…like you, too. You had to jump into the shower to tell me that you like me? As you said, we're friends."
"No." She licks her lips nervously. Then she takes a half step forward and puts her hand on my chest. "I mean, I like you, Jerrok. The friends thing was stupid. I only said that because I couldn't think of anything else to say. My mind just blanked out. I don't think of you as just a friend. Adiron is a friend. Mathiras is a friend. Kaspar is a friend. But I've never gotten into the shower with any of them. I've never crawled into bed with any of them." Sophie traces a little line down my chest, following a bead of water as it moves over my pectorals. "But…I can't seem to help myself around you."
My throat goes dry. She…”likes” me? She is attracted to me? Jerrok un'Rok? It can hardly be believed. And yet…she says she has never joined any of the va Sithai in their beds and she has slept curled against me several times now.