Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 242728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1214(@200wpm)___ 971(@250wpm)___ 809(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 242728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1214(@200wpm)___ 971(@250wpm)___ 809(@300wpm)
I sucked in a breath as he tipped his fingers, spilling the ashes to the ground. He didn’t look up, speaking to the forest floor. “I fought, Runa. I fought so hard. I tried to refuse it. After what I did to the bison, I wanted nothing to do with it. But...it’s in me now. It’s awake. And...there’s no going back.”
Raising his chin, his eyes gleamed with a silver ring. “Do you see? Do you finally see? We were never meant to be. We can’t—”
“You saved me today,” I interrupted. “You saved all the hunters.” I did my best to gather my own certainty, ready to war with his. “I won’t lie and say such callous death didn’t hurt. You saw the truth of how it hurt me when I passed out on the plains. I woke to you carrying me.”
I marched into him, only for him to back away. “I woke to you carrying me. After you killed those bison. After, Darro. Not before.” I lowered my voice. “You might remember what you are and that your touch holds death, but it holds kindness too. You killed those bison without touching them. You proved you have power far greater than you want to admit. But...you are so much more than just death. You are good and kind and loyal. Your touch carries love too. I know it does. You say you’re the gatekeeper of lost and missing things? Well, that makes you a protector. A protector who might take lives but also keeps them safe—”
“Or I just keep them as trophies.” He bared his teeth. “All those bison today? I can still sense them. They no longer have hooves and horns; they’re nothing more than ether, trapped in my endless void—”
“They are not nothing. They’re something. They’re the kernel of life. The very spark of existence. They’re Semetzi—the very sentience that brings life to blood and bone.”
His eyebrows knitted together. “You speak as if you know this.”
“I do.”
“How?”
“I...”
How do I know?
Where had such truth come from? When had my heart started glowing or such conviction settle into my bones?
Was this what’d happened to Darro?
The beginning of an awakening?
The start of remembering who I truly was?
Catching his eyes, I murmured, “The fire calls me Life Bringer. The river whispers that I flow with creation; the very earth praised me when my moon blood gave existence to flowers and trees without any summoning.” My voice tangled with a whisper. “So...if you are death, Darro, then...I am life. I am as dangerous to you as you are to me. Don’t you see?”
I stepped closer to him, raising my hand slowly.
He stiffened but didn’t move.
“If we are what we are, then the truth is...we cannot exist without the other.” My fingers shook as I reached for his hand. “Life cannot exist without an end. And death cannot exist without life to take.”
Zetas growled a little, and Syn shifted beside the wolf, but I didn’t stop.
I couldn’t.
“Runa...” He trembled on the spot. “Don’t...”
“I trust you, Darro.” I shivered. “I trust that you will never hurt me.”
“But I don’t trust myself,” he grunted, ripping his hand away.
I followed him as he tripped back. I committed to him, just like he’d committed to me. “You’ve touched me many times before.”
“And each time, I could’ve killed you,” he spat.
“But you didn’t.”
“Because I was blind to what’s truly inside me.”
“Whatever lives inside you obeys your command, Darro.” I shifted closer, reaching, always reaching. “It can kill through air and shadows. Just by standing close to you, I’m at your mercy.”
“And doesn’t that repulse you?” he strangled. “Doesn’t that horrify you?”
“You could never repulse me.”
“But I killed innocence.” He balled his hands, glowering at my ash bee palm as it inched ever closer to him. “I stole so many lives...right in front of you.”
“And if you hadn’t, then the Nhil would’ve died.”
“You would’ve died.” His entire body winced. “I saw your death, Runa. I don’t know how but I saw you die and—” He wiped his mouth, shaking his head. “When your heart stopped beating—” He looked at the cloud-thick sky. “It broke something inside me. It woke up what I’ve been hiding from. I embraced the darkness because I couldn’t breathe with your loss. I couldn’t—” He shrugged helplessly, his eyes desperate and raw. “I couldn’t breathe, Runa. And I wanted everyone else to stop breathing too. When the vision ended, and I saw you...alive...I-I couldn’t stop myself.”
“You did what you needed to protect me.”
“I did. I chose you over everyone. I will always choose you.”
“And I’m grateful. So grateful. What happened today was—”
“A slaughter.” He laughed coldly. “No one stands a chance against me. I would happily eradicate every heartbeat if it meant you remained safe, and that...” He raked his hands through his hair. “That makes me sick because what I did to the bison...the squirrel. What I want to do to Aktor.” He dropped his hands with despair. “I’m a monster.”