Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 119093 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119093 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
If it’s any comfort, please know, it’s a rare heart condition and not genetic. Our babies are safe. But if you want to get them tested for your own peace of mind, I’ve included everything you’ll need to know, including my doctor’s information.
I have so much I want to say to you, but I’ll start with how much I love you. You are my entire world. You and our kids. The day I saw you baking in the kitchen at school, your eyes filled with such passion, I knew you were “the one.” I shouldn’t have felt that way since you were so much younger than me, but still, despite the age difference, despite you being my student, I knew you were the woman I would one day create a life with. And as I write this letter, I can’t help thinking about our life together. Every step of the way, you’ve made me the happiest man in the world. From you agreeing to go on a date with me, to moving in together, to getting engaged, to saying I do, and then giving me the two most beautiful, amazing babies.
Bree, I need you to know that you made me so damn happy. Every day, my world has been brighter, happier, better because of you. And not just as my wife, but as my best friend, my soul mate, and as the mother of my children. My favorite thing to do—besides being inside you (sorry, but I can’t write a goodbye letter without mentioning that)—is to watch you with Miles and Evie. Your patience and kindness and the way you love and care for them is such a turn-on. As I’m writing this letter, Evie has an ear infection, and you’re, of course, lying with her in bed, soothing her and making sure she’s okay. Because that’s what you do…take care of us. Every day, since the moment I made you mine, you’ve taken care of our kids and me.
Your heart is so big and full of love, and I feel like the luckiest man to be loved by you. To be kissed by you, to be touched by you. To share this life with you for as long as I have. There’s no one I would rather have spent my life’s journey with than you. I HATE that if you’re reading this, it means our journey has been suddenly cut short, but please know, I have no regrets, because I got to live the BEST DAMN LIFE with you by my side.
Even though I’m gone, I need you to promise that you will continue to share your big heart with others. You’re still so young, and you have so much love to give. Please don’t close yourself off to all of life’s possibilities. I know that as you read this letter, the soil that’s covering my casket is still soft, and you’re not close to thinking about moving on. But this is my only opportunity to say what I need you to hear: Once you’re done mourning, I want you to move on. It took my mother twenty years after my dad passed to carve out a new life for herself, and I hated that for her. That she spent all those years alone. The day she met Stephen, is the day she finally allowed herself to give her heart to another man. And that is the day I saw my mom happy again for the first time since she lost my dad.
I don’t want that for you. Or for our kids. I want you to find love. Love hard and let yourself be loved in return. Find a man who is deserving of your big heart and let him love you, Aubs. Because you deserve to be loved. My biggest fear is that you’ll end up alone, and I want so much more for you. My second biggest fear is that our kids won’t have a father figure in their lives. You know I lost my dad when I was ten, and I missed him so much. Please know that if you find someone who loves you and our kids, you have my blessing to move forward and create a life with him. Get married, have more babies, BE HAPPY.
Along with this letter is the information for a savings account I set aside that will cover the funeral costs and replace my income for a little while. It isn’t much, but it should be enough so you can keep working at the bakery with your grandma, doing what you love. I’m so sorry that you now have to do it on your own, but it makes me feel a little better to know you have your grandma and my mom and stepdad. Let them help you.
I have two letters I’m including for the kids. I hate that they’re so young and probably won’t even remember me, but I know you’ll tell them about me and show them pictures, so they’ll know how much I loved them and never wanted to leave them.