Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
“And then there’s Rhodes.” Just saying his name sent a familiar pang through my chest. “I don’t know what to even say about him.” I let the watch record nothing but my breathing for a moment. “He makes me so angry, like I’m forcing him to be my friend. But the truth is that I went into this whole thing knowing that wasn’t the case. He was the one who made me feel that way, because he invited me over. And he gave me advice. And he made me believe he cared about me.” I sighed. “I don’t know. He just makes me feel like maybe I have the ability to be someone I only dreamed I could be. He makes me feel powerful, strong, and sometimes… beautiful.” I blinked, knowing I was about to admit it out loud for the first time. “And I wanted him to kiss me.”
A twinge kicked in my stomach and I sat upright, ending the voice recording on my watch. I had a headache from trying to figure everything out. Talking about it didn’t help like I thought it would. Maybe it was because I was talking to myself instead of someone who could offer resolution.
Sighing, I slowly lifted my sore body from the concrete of the driveway and walked to the house, dialing Willow as I did. She didn’t answer and I remembered she was still at orientation. And Mom and Dale were still out of town.
I felt as lonely and empty as the house I lived in.
Rhodes finally showed up for our training session on Tuesday afternoon. He was drenched in sweat when I got to the gym and I had a feeling he’d already been there for hours. His fiery eyes caught mine as soon as I walked in and my legs were instantly weak. I wasn’t sure if it was from my run the day before or the conflicting emotions running across his face, but I felt like I would fall to my knees at any moment. When I somehow managed to make it to him, I dropped my gym bag to the floor.
Rhodes didn’t say anything at first. He wiped the sweat from his face with a small white towel and tucked it into the back of his shorts, frowning as his eyes fell down my body. I swore every part of my skin ignited as his eyes raked over me.
“New clothes?”
I laughed, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms hard over my chest. “Really? That’s the first thing you’re going to say to me?” Rhodes had a way of bringing out someone inside me who had never existed before. I was bold around him — unabashedly bold. It felt strange and incredible at the same time.
Rhodes swallowed. “We need to train, Natalie. I’ve been out for two days.”
“Oh I’m Natalie now? I’m not Bug anymore? And you’re right.” I pointed at his chest. “You’ve been out for two days. Why was that? Did you not show because of Saturday night?” It was like violent word vomit that I couldn’t control. Rhodes confused me, and I couldn’t figure out why I allowed him to make me feel embarrassed and sad one moment but then angry as hell the next. Before seeing him in the gym again, I felt like I had myself together. I thought when I eventually did see him, I’d be fine. But the truth was that I wanted to yell at him, to get a reaction out of him — any reaction.
Instead, he just sat there, looking calm and collected and completely unaffected by me standing my ground.
“I had some things to take care of.” He nodded toward the treadmill next to him. “Climb on and bump the incline up to four, speed two. Let’s get you warmed up.”
“So we’re going back to you just being my trainer? Is that what this is?”
Rhodes let out a frustrated sigh and jumped off the treadmill, landing hard in front of me. His eyes leveled with mine beneath a scowl. “I am just your trainer. Now you can either get on the damn treadmill and warm up or you can walk out. Either way, I’m getting paid. The choice is yours.” He snagged my empty water bottle from my hands and walked to the water fountain, filling it up along with his own.
I pursed my lips, but decided not to argue further. Once again, I felt a little embarrassed by my actions. He’d made me feel like a friend… maybe even something more. But now he was insisting he was just my trainer and I his client — nothing more, nothing less. I shook my head, trying to clear it. I needed to train after being away from him for two days and more than that, I wanted to train. I wanted to work out every ounce of anger, pain, and sadness I had inside me. And at that moment, I had enough to work for hours.