Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
I was thicker than most girls my age —hell, than most girls, period. I had love handles that hung over my jeans and arms twice the size of my best friend Willow’s. My cheeks were chubby, there wasn’t a single space my thighs didn’t touch when I stood ankles together, and I couldn’t remember a time I’d bought anything smaller than a large when I went shopping with my friends.
I had always been the “big girl”, and up until that point, I had never really thought to feel ashamed about it. It was only the Friday before, at my graduation party, that I realized how insecure I had always felt but had never admitted. I didn’t come to that realization softly. No, I was hurled into it like a high-speed train. Because Mason didn’t just break up with me that night, not for the reason he gave me. He said we were growing apart, that he had plans and I didn’t, that he needed to start thinking about his future. But when he started dating a petite little brunette not even a full two days later, I knew the real reason he let me go. I didn’t even know who she was, but I saw a photo of them on social media and that was enough for me. She was skinny. She was gorgeous.
She was everything I wasn’t.
“Can I have a minute with her, Dale?” Mom asked, like I wasn’t still in the room with them. Or like I was twelve and not eighteen. He nodded, smiling and ruffling my hair before excusing himself. Again, I felt the need to shove my diploma in their face and remind them of my age. Once he was gone, Mom turned back to me.
“Do you want him back?”
I blanched. “What?”
“You heard me. Do you want him back?”
“I don’t really think that’s an option, Mom,” I mumbled, picking at the already chipping gold nail polish on my thumbnail. I wanted to peel every last inch of that high school off of me forever, including the forest green and gold colors I had sported so spiritually every year of my life. “He’s…” I paused, crossing my arms tight over my chest. “He’s not available anymore.”
Her face softened and she moved closer to me, reaching out to place a hand on my leg again. I didn’t pull away this time. “Oh sweetie, you give up too easily. If you want him, fight for him.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that easy, Mom. This isn’t a Rom Com.”
“I’m serious,” she said, lowering her head and forcing me to meet her bright blue eyes. They were so different from my own chocolate ones. I assumed I had my father’s eyes, though I couldn’t be sure. He was around for a total of ten months of my life and I’d never seen so much as a picture of him. Not that I ever asked to see one — Dale was the only father I needed as far as I was concerned. “You know what the best revenge is after a break-up, right?”
I lifted a brow, clearly not versed in the subject. At all. Mason was the only boyfriend I had ever had. I was going through my first break-up, my first heartache, and all I knew was that it hurt like hell and eating on the couch seemed like a perfectly fine way to spend my summer — especially the summer after I graduated high school. I just had two and a half months to make it through and then I’d be gone, anyway.
Maybe.
If I could decide what I wanted to do with my life, that is.
Or maybe I’d still be right here, on this couch, eating Oatmeal Cream Pies.
Mom stood, pulling me up with her to give me the answer to her question. “Looking drop-dead gorgeous the next time he sees you. And if you can score some man-candy to tote you around, that helps, too.”
She winked and I scoffed. “Yeah well, I don’t think that plan is going to work in my case,” I pointed out, gesturing to my body with an open hand. Sure, I had long, thick, dark blonde hair and skin that easily tanned in the southern sun, but I was a size fourteen. And everyone in my circle of friends, including Mason’s new… thing, was a size four or smaller. It wasn’t that I was ever really confident, but before graduation, I hadn’t really thought that much about my size — at least, not enough to care. Whether because of Dale’s money or stature, I had always been a part of the “in” crowd, and I never had to try to be anyone I didn’t want to be. I was shy, quiet, but fun once I opened up. At least, that’s what I liked to think.