Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
I chewed on his words, aching to reach out to him, but I wasn’t sure if he’d let me hold him or not. It killed me to know he somehow felt responsible for Lana. It wasn’t the kind of guilt that was easy to let go of.
“Can I ask you something else?”
Rhodes seemed to be still stuck in his own thoughts, but he nodded.
“Yesterday, you were the same Rhodes I met at the beginning of the summer. You pushed me away.” He frowned, but didn’t argue. “But then you showed up at my door last night. And now we’re here. It seemed like you were so sure I’d betrayed you.” Tucking my hands between the wood and the backs of my thighs, I glanced at him through my lashes. “What made you change your mind?”
He stopped rowing, letting the soft current of the river take over. His eyes were fixed on mine. “I just realized that I’ve lived a life without love, without caring for someone else or letting them care for me. And I don’t want that to be the only kind of life I have.” He shrugged. “I made up my mind that night you gave yourself to me that I was never going to walk away from you or the possibility to feel like I have a purpose again. I’m not letting one note change that.”
My heart leapt at the word love leaving his lips. He wasn’t saying that he loved me, but he wasn’t saying he couldn’t. To me, that was just as exhilarating.
We stopped again when we found a large rope swing, taking turns riding it out above the water before dropping in with a splash. I was in another two-piece bathing suit, one I’d purchased myself, and Rhodes took a photo of me in it mid-swing. He motioned me over once I resurfaced to show it to me and I smiled. I looked so free, so happy, so confident.
While Rhodes looked over the map he’d taken from Clint, I pulled on my white cover up and rested on a large log extended out over the water near the swing. I laid on my back, watching the clouds float the opposite way of the current, the sun glittering behind them. There was a soft, cool breeze over the water and it flowed through my hair as I rolled over onto my stomach.
I was face-to-face with my reflection in the dark river as I hung off the log, one arm hanging down toward the water. I studied the girl looking back at me — her long, dark blonde hair, slightly lighter at the ends from the summer sun. Her eyes were wide, cheeks high, smile genuine. She was far from the broken girl I’d seen in the mirror the first night Rhodes touched me.
That summer changed me — not just on the outside, but the inside, too. I didn’t look at life as a burden or a puzzle I didn’t fit into anymore. Instead, it was a beautiful challenge, one I didn’t have to face alone. The girl gazing up at me from the river might have been thirty pounds lighter than the girl who entered that summer, but she was also thirty times stronger. She was smarter, more experienced — and she had no limits.
Extending my pointer finger, the tip just barely touched the surface of the water, sparking a ripple that distorted my face first before taking the rest of my body with it. It was then that I realized my life was my own. I could do anything, be anyone, if I only had the courage.
When Rhodes called my name, motioning back to the canoe, boyish grin locked on his face, I nodded and leaned up on the log. But before I jumped into the water, I glanced back down at River Natalie one more time, appreciating her for how far she’d come and knowing that there was still so much more to come for her, too.
I’d been so focused on losing weight, on getting to a certain point where I thought I’d find happiness. It turned out that joy wasn’t made by the destination, but rather discovered in the journey.
I looked forward to the next mile in mine.
About an hour later, we came upon a large treehouse extending about twenty feet above the water. There was a fire pit just below it and a hammock hanging between two trees sticking up through the water of the river.
“Wow,” I breathed. “How neat is this?”
“Glad you like our home for the evening.”
I spun around. “Are you serious?”
Rhodes smiled, steering the canoe toward the house. Once we reached the bank, he hopped out and steadied it as I did the same before pulling it up onto shore. We each grabbed a bag and Rhodes lifted the cooler.