Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 69413 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69413 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
>>Jamie: I’ll let you know. Thank you for making me feel like I’m someone again, Landry.
His comment caught me off guard, hitting me like a sock to the chest.
He’d put it into words better than I could have. That was the gift he’d given me during our stay in the snowy mountains.
Jamie made me feel like I was someone again. And I never wanted to give that up.
When Jamie didn’t contact me the following day, I figured he must have gotten busy after his flights. He worked harder than I ever had, from what it sounded like, and on top of taking care of his mom, I was sure his life was full and probably stressful after a vacation.
But then another day passed. And then another.
And soon it was four days since we’d both been in California, and I hadn’t so much as gotten a text from him.
I could feel some cobwebs shifting into place, my heart hardening and shielding itself from inevitable pain. I could just as easily call him, but the ball was in his court, and I knew some part of me was waiting for him to reach out first.
To prove that he wanted to. To show me that I wasn’t stupid or crazy to have had the feelings I did for him, in our short time together.
I’d hung the photobooth strip of the two of us on my fridge—the only thing I had on my fridge, now, proudly displayed. Each time I walked by it, hope sparked in me again, only to flare out by the time night came again with no contact from him.
Old fear sparked inside me like kindling under a flame.
Parker had gone silent on me, too, right before our relationship blew up in my face.
I realized something was broken inside me when I was trying to work at my desk one morning, and for three straight hours, I hadn’t even finished reading page one of a business plan.
“Screw it,” I said, reaching for my phone and navigating to my text thread with Jamie.
I’d wanted him to reach out to me. But if I had to be the one to make first contact now that we were back in California again, so be it.
>>Landry: Jamie, how have you been? Can we meet up sometime this week?
I set the phone down like it was a ticking time bomb. Half of me expected him to ghost me completely, never hearing from him again.
But the phone buzzed just a minute later, sending adrenaline jolting through my system. I picked up the phone quick as lightning, my eyes glued to the screen.
>>Jamie: I don’t think it’s going to work, Landry. I meant what I said, though. Thank you. Thank you for being in a snowglobe with me. It meant everything.
My stomach dropped like an anvil. It was strange that someone I’d known for a week had the ability to make me feel more hollow than anyone had before.
Somehow worse than when Parker admitted he cheated on me; worse than when he refused my proposal.
He didn’t want more. He didn’t want me.
It felt familiar to be unwanted. And that was the worst part.
19
JAMIE
My hands shook as I held the thin paper in my hands, the torn envelope fluttering toward the kitchen counter.
OUTSTANDING BILL: $8,792
There it was, in bold letters, unmistakable.
“Oh, God, Jamie, is it bad?” Chase’s voice came from the phone, which was cradled between my ear and my shoulder.
“It’s worse than bad,” I managed to say as a pit formed in my stomach. “I came back to a shitstorm. Holy Christ.”
It had been nonstop since the moment I’d gotten back to Stellara Beach. When we landed after the flights, I took Mom back home, dropped her off, and immediately went to go grab a few essentials from the grocery store to fill her fridge.
By the time I was done at the store only twenty minutes later, I checked to see five voice messages from my mother.
In each one, she’d sounded more panicked. She’d had a bad fall on her driveway, and the concrete had screwed up her hip—a hip that wasn’t in great condition to begin with. The pain got worse and worse until she had no feeling in her leg at all, and in the span of just a few minutes, an elderly neighbor had called an ambulance for Mom, even though she begged her not to do it.
Mom knew exactly how much it would cost. But the old neighbor didn’t drive anymore, and the moment she heard about the numbness, she’d made the call.
And the ambulance, hospital, X-ray, and fees were now staring me in the face.
Mom was okay, but our finances weren’t.
“Shit,” Chase said, his voice full of sympathy. “Well, you know I’ll contribute, too, as much as I can. Fuck, I wish I could be there right now.”