Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
“Oh, wow. And you had no idea?”
“None. Like a fucking blockhead, I didn’t see any of it. Until long afterward. And I didn’t handle it very well. I told her that was ridiculous, and she was like my little sister.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. That didn’t go over too well. She was pretty upset, so I thought I better take her home.” He paused. “We never made it. I missed a stop sign because of some trees weighed down from the rain, and there was an eighteen-wheeler coming. We skidded, and the car flipped a few times.”
I turned over onto my stomach. “Oh my God, Bennett.”
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have been driving while I was upset and pissed off, not at night with bad visibility and wet roads.”
I clutched my chest. The story itself was heartbreaking, but then I remembered what he’d said earlier. “I told Lucas the truth tonight.”
“Lucas didn’t know any of this?”
He nodded. “Not until this afternoon. It’s a long story, but Sophie kept these journals, and her mother recently read them. Lucas almost read them, too. The last entry in her journal was written the day before she died and said she was going to tell me about her feelings. Her mother knew we’d had a fight the night Sophie died, but when she read the journals, she realized what we must’ve been fighting about. Fanny never liked me to begin with, and rightly blames me for the accident.”
He sighed. “She only lets me stay in Lucas’s life because I help her out financially. Lucas and I both got a settlement because the tree should’ve been cut back and the trucker was speeding, but his is in a trust, and Fanny only gets a stipend for his living expenses each month. I’ve always known I needed to tell him I was driving. I just thought I could wait until he was a little older.” He shook his head. “Reading those journals stirred up a lot of feelings. For both of us.”
I shut my eyes. “Oh God, Bennett. I’m so sorry. You told him all that today? I’m guessing it didn’t go well?”
“He could have told me never to contact him again. So I guess it could have been worse.”
It didn’t take a shrink to figure out why Bennett didn’t do relationships. A woman he cared for deeply had told him she was in love with him the night she died in a car accident—an accident that happened while he was behind the wheel, an accident he obviously harbored a lot of guilt over.
In an instant, the rest of the missing pieces of Bennett Fox clicked into place. Such a complex man, with scars inside that ran a lot deeper than the one on the outside from the accident.
“He’ll come around. He’s a smart kid, and in the little time I spent with you two, it was clear how much you care about him. I’m sure he was just upset at the shock. It must’ve felt like a big secret kept from him.”
“He thinks I’ve been spending all this time with him out of guilt for what I did. And honestly, I do have a lot of guilt. But that’s never been the reason I stayed involved in Lucas’s life.”
We were quiet for a long time. I needed to wrap my head around everything he’d shared, and Bennett obviously needed space. But first…I needed to ask one more question.
“Bennett?”
“Hmm?”
“Have you ever talked to anyone about this? I mean, the whole story. What Sophie meant to you, what she shared the night she died, and the relationships you’ve had since then—or lack of relationships?”
He shook his head.
“Thank you for telling me. I know it’s been a long day, but I want you to know I’d love to hear all about Sophie. When you’re ready.”
He looked into my eyes. “Why? Why would you want to hear about her?”
“Because she’s obviously very special to you, she’s the mother of the boy you love, and whether you realize it or not, she’s helped make you into the man you are today.”
Chapter 45
* * *
Annalise
I reread the letter I’d typed to Jonas a second time. I wasn’t ready to give it to him just yet. But typing it brought me one step closer. It felt right—like trying on a pair of jeans that hadn’t fit for a really long time, and suddenly the zipper closed. It had been a long time since anything in my life really felt like it fit.
My desk phone rang, so I quickly folded the letter into an envelope and stashed it in my drawer. I figured it was Bennett calling from two offices down to yell at me to hurry my ass up since I said I’d be ready in ten minutes at least a half hour ago.
“Annalise O’Neil.” My voice was almost sing-songy.