Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
***
“We’re here.”
The driver’s voice jolted me awake. Slumped in the backseat, I must’ve dozed off on the short ride home.
I nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, man.”
It took me a few tries, but I managed to find the door handle and open the damn thing. I even stumbled out without falling on my face. The Uber driver mustn’t have been as impressed with how well I’d done, because he didn’t stick around to watch me make it to the door. He had his foot pressed to the floor to get the hell out of there before I could even finish swaying enough to walk the three steps to the curb. But I waved goodbye anyway.
Somehow I made my way to the front door. Luckily, when two-hundred-and-twenty pounds leans forward on the verge of falling over, it also propels a lot of momentum. I spent five minutes trying to get the key in the lock, but the damn thing wouldn’t work. I’d started to think someone had come to my place and changed the fucking lock.
I took a step back and squinted at the door, attempting to get a good look at the lock. But then the door swung open.
What the fuck?
Stumbling back, I blinked a few times.
“What the hell are you doing?” Fanny pulled her robe tight.
I’d gone to the wrong house?
Fuck.
Maybe I didn’t.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her.” I swayed back and forth. “I didn’t know how she felt.”
“It’s after midnight. I should call the goddamn police.”
I looked down and swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I’d said the words so many times eight years ago. They did nothing for either of us back then. But what did I expect? Forgiveness? Forgiveness doesn’t change the past.
“You want me to tell you it’s okay? It’s not. Lucas told me about the girl you brought to Disney. You want me to accept your apology so you can move on without a guilty conscience? Is that what this is about? My daughter doesn’t get to move on, does she?”
No, she doesn’t. I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
“You know what sorry does?”
I looked up and met her angry eyes. “What?”
“Nothing.”
The door slammed in my face before I could say another word.
Chapter 38
* * *
December 1st
Dear Me,
We’re pregnant.
Not exactly what we’d planned, huh?
It’s a long story, but it happened when we went to Minnetonka with Mom two months ago. Remember the cute guy we met at the bar when we snuck out after Mom went to sleep?
Yup. That’s him.
He seemed like such a nice guy.
Until we showed up at his house to tell him we were pregnant two weeks ago, and…
…his wife answered the door.
His wife! The jerk had said he didn’t even have a girlfriend!
We haven’t told Mom yet. She’s not going to be happy.
The only person in the world who knows is Bennett. The day after I told him, he drove home for the weekend to make sure we were okay. We pretended to be. But we’re not, really.
I secretly wish we were carrying Bennett’s baby. He’d be so good to us and such a good dad. I really do love him—different than the way best friends should love each other.
This poem is dedicated to Lucas or Lilly.
Thunder breaks above
dark clouds gather in the sky
sun will shine someday
This letter will self-destruct in ten minutes.
Anonymously,
Sophie
Chapter 39
* * *
Bennett
It felt like a marching band had taken up residence inside my skull.
The dull pounding ratcheted up to full-on percussion jam session anytime I attempted to raise my head from the pillow.
What the hell did I drink last night?
And what time is it?
I felt around my nightstand for my phone, but it wasn’t there. Rolling over, I pried one eye open and met a stream of light coming in through the blinds.
God. I shielded my eyes. That fucking hurts.
I forced myself from bed, went to the bathroom, and grabbed three Tylenol from the medicine cabinet, swallowing them down dry. On my way back, I found my cell on the floor in the bedroom, next to the clothes I’d worn yesterday.
8:45. Shit. I needed to haul my ass into the office. Yet I climbed back into bed. The Tylenol needed to kick in before I could do that. I swiped my phone with the intention of shooting off an email to Jonas to let him know I’d be late, but instead I found a bunch of missed calls.
Two from Fanny this morning, and three from Annalise last night.
What the hell does Fanny want? It was never a good thing when she called.
I was just about to hit ignore when pieces of last night started to creep back, little by little.
Too much scotch.
Uber.
Showing up at Lucas’s house and groveling to Fanny.
Calling Annalise from the curb in front of Fanny’s.
I shut my eyes. Jesus Christ.
I’d woken her up to apologize.