Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 87536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
“And he’s incredibly sweet,” Maureen said, watching him closely. “How can he possibly be a criminal?” She said that quietly, so that he wouldn’t overhear her.
“I have no fucking idea,” I murmured.
“Maybe he’s just involved in, like, illegal gambling or something fairly benign,” Erin supplied helpfully, also keeping her voice down. “I mean, no way is he dangerous. I wouldn’t let him within fifty miles of my kids if I believed for an instant that he was.”
“I know,” I said, watching as Dmitri scooped up Brody and put him on his shoulders, then chased after Brennan as he and Brody made helicopter noises. After a moment I said quietly, “He’s getting married in a few months.”
Both sisters turned to stare at me. “No!” Erin exclaimed. “Just like Charlie?”
“Kind of.” I sighed and sunk my chin onto my hands, elbows propped on my knees.
“But he’s obviously crazy about you,” Maureen said, wide eyed.
“I know he cares about me. But I can’t give him that,” I said, gesturing to where both of my nephews now had him by a hand and were dragging him toward the big play structure.
“Of course you can,” Maureen told me. “It’s called adoption. And there are other alternatives too – surrogates, egg donors….”
“Yeah, I know,” I said quietly. “But the fact is, he’s engaged to a woman, and he’s marrying her in June.”
“Then he has no business leading you on,” Erin said fiercely.
“He’s not. He was honest with me right from the start. I know what I signed on for, I know this is just a short-term thing. And I’m determined to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.”
“Jamie,” Maureen said, “if this is just a short-term thing, why did you tell everyone about him? You would have saved yourself so much grief by keeping quiet about it.”
“I spent eight years pretending Charlie was just a friend, Mo, pretending I wasn’t totally in love with him. And every single day, I felt like I was living a lie. I’m not going to do that anymore. From now on, I’m going to live my life as an open book. And if people don’t like the choices I’m making, tough shit.”
“That’s admirable. But Dad’s still going to rip both you and the hot felon to shreds,” Erin said with a sigh.
Dmitri sailed down a slide with the boys on his lap, then jogged over to us with a kid in each arm, saying, “Diaper alert. Both of them, I think.”
Erin leapt up and grabbed the diaper bag, then scooped up Brody while Maureen took hold of Brennan and held him at arm’s length. “I’ll help,” she said, and both sisters rushed off toward the restrooms.
Dmitri came and sat right beside me on the picnic table, so close that our hips were touching. “Hi,” he said softly.
“Hi yourself.” I leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips.
His blue eyes searched my face as he said, “I’m sorry I dropped by unannounced. I just…I get worried when you don’t answer your phone.”
“I’m glad you came over. You’re a huge hit with my sisters and nephews.”
He was still watching me closely. And he said quietly, “What you asked me earlier…you already knew that, didn’t you?”
I shrugged, breaking eye contact. “I didn’t want to believe it.”
He wrapped his arms around himself as he said softly, “So now that you know, are you going to break up with me?”
“No.” He glanced up at me, and I reached out and plucked a little leaf out of his dark hair. Then I grinned and said, “You really are a mess. You know that?”
He offered a little smile and said, “I do know that. And not just because I have leaves in my hair and a squashed donut in my pocket.”
I leaned forward and kissed him again. And when we broke apart, he looked away quickly. “Dmitri, are you ok?”
“I don’t deserve you, Jamie,” he whispered. “I’m not good enough for you. I wish I was somebody different. Somebody better.”
“You’re wonderful.”
“I’m a criminal,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion.
“Some time soon,” I said, pulling him to me, “I need you to explain to me exactly what you’re involved in. But I’m saying that as your boyfriend, not as a cop. And just know that whatever it is, it’s not going to change the way I feel about you.”
He nodded, his head against my shoulder. “I will. I promise.” Then he whispered, “I need something, too.”
“What’s that?”
He hesitated for a long moment. And then he said quietly, “I need you to tie me to your bed and fuck me hard, some time tonight. I need to feel you close to me, in me. I need that so much.”
I drew in my breath. “Ok.”
He slipped his arms around my waist and held on to me, his face buried in my shoulder. But then he let go quickly and sat up when my sisters and the boys again descended on us.