Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 121764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
I shook my head, nose flaring as I dropped my bag to the floor and turned. I crossed the space between us in long strides, Grace’s chin wobbling as I did. She looked half surprised and half devastated when I ran back to her, and I swept her up in my arms, crushing my mouth to hers.
“You have to go,” she said against my lips, even as she clung to me, even as she kissed me hard like she never wanted to stop.
“I love you.”
The words ripped from my chest, loud and broken.
And they cracked her wide open.
She sobbed, fingers curling in my hair as I kissed her again and again.
“I know that’s selfish to say,” I said between them. “I know everything feels impossible and I have no fucking idea what comes next for us, Grace, but I do know that this isn’t over. I cannot — will not — leave you behind without you knowing that.”
She sobbed harder, and I ran my hands through her hair, framing her face until I could look her right in the eye.
“I love you,” I said again. “I didn’t know what it was to live before you came into my life. I didn’t know there could be joy like this, or adventure, or pain so fucking deep in my chest.”
I beat my fist against my rib cage, wincing as I confessed everything I’d shoved down.
“I didn’t know that I could be with you — every second of every day — and still want more.”
Grace nodded, like she understood, like she felt it, too.
“I don’t know what I can ask of you right now, and I don’t know what I can give you in return.” I let out a slow breath, my heart evening out now that I’d told her the truth. “All I know is that I need you to understand that I’m not walking away from you, from this, from us.” I shook my head. “Not now. Not ever.”
Her brows bent together, face warping as she nodded over and over and pulled me down for another long kiss.
I breathed her in. I ran my hands through her hair and behind her neck and down until I could crush her to me. I wanted to leave my mark with that kiss. I wanted to seal everything I’d just said with a promise so strong she could never question it.
“I love you, too,” she whispered.
I inhaled her even more, beaming, every cell in my being rejoicing at what it felt like to hear her say it.
“We were never supposed to happen, and yet I love you still. I can’t tell you how many times over the last month I’ve wondered if the stars aligned for us. And I agree,” she added, sniffing. “I don’t know what happens next. But I know I’ll never let you go, Jaxson. You’ll always be a part of me.”
That elation I’d felt was still there, but a fist was crushing it like a soda can now.
Because her words sounded an awful lot like a goodbye.
An announcement interrupted us from the lounge speakers — a call for all passengers to board my flight.
“You have to go,” Grace said.
“Fuck.” I claimed her mouth again, and then she pressed against my chest, and I had no choice but to rip myself away from her.
I didn’t dare look back as I jogged to my bag, swiped it off the floor and raced for the exit. I ran and ran through the airport, feeling the pressure crushing my lungs all the way to my gate.
I made it just before they closed the doors.
I texted Grace as soon as I was in my seat, breath still coming hard and shallow. Then, I put on my headphones, pulled my hoodie up over my head, and replayed her words until they were branded into my memory.
She loved me, too.
I still didn’t know what would come next for us — if anything. But I’d told her the truth. I’d left nothing unsaid. I’d laid it all out on the line, and I knew now that she felt the same.
The plane took off, carrying me home.
But I left my heart with her.
Be Here
Jaxson
I was a pathetic piece of shit for the first few weeks back in Tampa.
I wished I could channel Grace’s energy, that I could pop right back into the life I’d been happily living before I knew what it was like to lose myself in her. But it was impossible.
I went back to my house, to my vintage cars, to my books and my team and my routine — but it all felt off now.
The guys were desperate to go out as soon as I got home, all of them giving me shit for not being around for the off-season. Fortunately, they didn’t press past me telling them I had family stuff to take care of. I wasn’t sure how much more I could lie right to their faces.