Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 121764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
I closed my eyes.
This was never going to work out in my favor.
“Listen, I love you,” I said again, voice softer this time. “But I don’t want this energy in my life anymore. So, if you want to be a part of it, I’m going to need you to get on board. No more calls after the game. If I want advice, I’ll ask you for it. I’m happy to provide for you and Mom, but I want phone calls that don’t involve hockey. I want you to ask how I am, and tell me how you are. I want family holidays that don’t make me sick to my stomach just thinking about them. I want you two to come see a fucking game, for Christ’s sake. And then,” I said, holding up a finger. “Not say a fucking word about it after other than good job, great game. Do you think you can do that?”
The sounds on the other end were muffled. I thought I heard the TV. I also thought I heard Mom sniffling, which broke my fucking heart. But if she could hear the conversation, then she was also close enough to speak.
Neither of them did.
I swallowed, nodding. “Well, then I guess we have nothing left to discuss.”
I ended the call just as the training door swung open, and Will slid through it with one brow arched into his hairline.
“You good?” he asked — just like always.
“Not now, Perry.”
My hands were shaking as he stilled a breath, clapping me on the shoulder before he hopped up to sit on one of the training tables. He folded his hands together. “Not your best game.”
“Trust me — already heard it from my dad, don’t need to hear it from you, too.”
“Well, since I’m your goalie and your captain, you’re going to have to.”
I sighed.
“I know you’re fucked up, alright? You have been since August. And I know that because I remember exactly what it feels like to try to show up for your team when you’re fucking numb inside.”
His words sucked the air out of the room.
We all knew what happened to him. We all knew his wife had passed away and left him to raise their daughter.
But he never talked about it — not when it happened, not in any time since.
So to hear him even reference that time in his life felt like seeing a pig fly across the sky.
“Now, I may not know exactly what’s going on, but if I had to guess, my money wouldn’t be on your shit-for-brains father who you just cut out of your life — which I agree with, by the way,” he added. “No, I’d place my bet on the fact that you’re heartbroken over a girl you never should have touched to begin with.”
My jaw tensed, and I stared at the ground, unable to look him in the eye.
“It’s none of my fucking business who you get involved with,” he said. “Except for when it bleeds into here.” He pointed his finger down at the floor. “I warned you in St. Louis, and from the way you’ve been moping around, I know you didn’t listen. That’s fine. You’re a big boy. You can make your own decisions.”
He hopped down from the table, walking over to where I stood.
“But the way you played out there tonight is not the Brittzy I know, and it’s not the one we need on this team — especially not while we try to navigate having new blood on the roster.”
I nodded.
He was right. Between the rookies who were still learning and adjusting to their first pro year, and that rumored trade of Aleks Suter to Tampa being true, we were in new and unfamiliar territory. We had the strength of last season with a dash of uncertainty. The rookies needed guidance. Suter needed to be tamed like a fucking wild animal.
We could either fine tune our new machine, or we could watch it break into shambles — and the latter was bound to happen if we weren’t all focused.
“I don’t have to tell you that Vince will have your fucking ass if and when he finds out,” Will said. “But if that’s what needs to happen, then get it over with so we can move on. And if that’s not the option that’s on the table? Then we both know what the other one is.”
Let her go.
Those were the words he didn’t have to say.
And at this point, the first option he mentioned wasn’t even one to entertain. Grace was out living her life. She had already left me at that airport — right where she should have.
It was me holding on to the impossible.
“Life is unfair. It’s a kick in the ass more days than not. But whatever you think you’ve lost, I can tell you one thing you still have, one thing you will always have.” Will poked a finger hard into my chest. “You have this game. You have the ice. You have this fucking team.”