Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 77126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Jared sits down next to me. “Raven…”
“For the love of God, let me finish.” I snap back to my feet, pace the sidewalk. “I’m supposed to be on top of the fucking world, Jared. I beat cancer! And I fell in love! I try to watch the sunrise every morning, the sunset every evening. I stop to smell the roses, and I take every minute as it comes, appreciating it. At least that’s what I’m supposed to be doing. And now, everything has changed again. I don’t have to worry about my white blood cells killing me. Instead, I have a whole new threat for my life, this time from people I don’t even know. Because of the man I love. Because of my brothers and what they did eight years ago.”
“I don’t think the two are related, Raven.”
“Does it even matter? I kicked cancer!” I clench my hands into fists. “I don’t want to be in danger anymore. I’ve had enough of it.”
Jared doesn’t say anything. He simply looks at me, his dark eyes full of…
“Pity?” I say to him. “Do not look at me with pity, Jared. I saw enough of that while I was lying in a hospital bed.”
“Do you want to go to the burial?” he asks.
“Nice pivot,” I say dryly.
“It’s a valid question. You’re not a family member, though I suppose you’ll be an in-law once your brother is married. Usually only family members attend a burial.”
“I suppose I should be there…for Falcon,” I say softly.
What I mean to say is that I want to be there for Vinnie. But he’s made it clear in no uncertain terms that he wants nothing to do with me.
So why does my heart still cling to him?
“All right,” Jared says. “I can drive you to the cemetery. Or I can check if there’s a funeral procession.”
But then I think things through. Vinnie wouldn’t want me there. Regardless of how I feel about him in this moment, I know one thing for sure. He wants me safe.
Would it be dangerous for me to go to the burial? Is that what the text is supposed to mean?
“I changed my mind,” I say to Jared. “Let’s just go home.”
“All right. And I’ll look into the text message. See if I can figure out where it came from.”
I simply nod and let him lead me to our vehicle.
And I wonder…
I wonder why the universe allowed me to live, showed me this truly amazing love, only to take it away.
How is that fair?
When I was lying in bed, so sick I almost wished for death, I thought about life. About what is fair and what is foul. About how we don’t really have a choice in the matter.
It’s so true.
Caroline Gallo seemed perfectly healthy to me. Of course I don’t know what her medical records showed.
But a heart attack?
I know they’re more common in women than people tend to realize, but that doesn’t make them normal. Especially for a woman in her fifties who is in otherwise good health.
Then again… I always took care of myself too. I have very few vices other than Orange Crush. It’s full of sugar and preservatives and I should really give it up, but my illness taught me to enjoy the little things in life.
Yes, it all comes back to my illness. There are two periods in my life. Before cancer and after it.
And in the before-cancer days, I took care of myself. Exercised, ate well for the most part.
And still I got sick.
I have to give it to cancer. It doesn’t discriminate.
It doesn’t play fair.
Life doesn’t play fair.
I had to accept that when I was sick. I had to accept that I got the raw end of some deal even though I didn’t deserve it.
Hell, does anyone ever deserve cancer?
Of course not. No one does. I wouldn’t wish what I experienced on my worst enemies.
A list of people that seems to grow with each passing day…
Now that I kicked cancer’s ass, thanks to my brother’s bone marrow, don’t I have the right to live the rest of my life in peace? To enjoy every sunrise and sunset? Without being in danger?
I fucking deserve all of that.
I deserve a lot of things.
But I suppose fate will decide what I actually get.
And there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
2
VINNIE
Your life begins tonight, Vincent. You will see what awaits you.
My grandfather’s—my father’s—words race through my mind.
This whole thing makes me nauseated in a way I never knew possible. My mother. My poor mother. The deathbed confession she was trying to give me.
The man who raised me, who I love, isn’t my biological father. He doesn’t even know that.
My grandfather, my mother’s father, is also my father.
How fucking twisted is this?
I should have stayed in Europe.
I can’t call Mario Bianchi Grandfather anymore. And I’m sure as hell not calling him Father.