Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 118592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 593(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 593(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
“I…I know this will probably mess things up even more…” he whispered. “But I love you, Memphis.”
Something detonated inside of my chest and I actually felt my knees threaten to give out.
“I just…I just thought you should know in case…” Tristan sucked in a breath and then turned to go. “Please be careful in New York,” he said softly and then he was gone.
I needed to let him go. I needed to call Phoenix to let him know Tristan was on his way down. I needed to grab my bag, fix things in New York and then go home and get on with my life.
I hadn’t even finished the last thought before I was moving. My throat felt tight as I rushed into the living room so I didn’t bother calling out to Tristan. I just caught up to him and then slapped my hand on the door when he opened it. It rattled when it slammed shut again under the force I’d applied. My front was pressed up against Tristan’s back, but he didn’t turn around. I could hear him crying, but I couldn’t just grab him the way I wanted.
Because if I did, it would change everything. It would mean I was agreeing to something that had destroyed my entire life three years earlier. It would give Brennan and Tristan a level of power over me that only one man had ever had. A man who’d wielded it as the most effective weapon that had slowly eaten away at who I was and had ultimately taken everything I’d held dear.
But it was a choice that wasn’t really a choice at all.
“I’ll come back, Tristan,” I managed to get out even as fear consumed me. “I’ll come back.”
* * *
I hated feeling so on edge that it took every ounce of self-discipline I had to sit still and look like every other person sitting in the open seating area outside the coffee shop. I’d like to say I was so agitated because of the meeting I was about to have, but in reality I knew that was only part of it. The rest had to do with the fact that the only place I wanted to be at the moment was on the next plane bound for Seattle, which was a complete surprise since I should have been dreading being with Tristan and Brennan again. Because no matter how badly I wanted to deny it, I knew I had now bound myself to both men and that it went way beyond the physical.
After I’d told Tristan I would come back to Seattle, he’d let out a harsh sob and then had turned in my arms and wrapped his arms around my waist. I’d ended up holding him for several minutes as he’d cried and then I’d kissed him softly in the hopes of calming him. He’d smiled at me through watery eyes and then he’d told me he loved me again. Just like with Brennan when he’d said the same thing to me, I’d been at a loss. Luckily, Tristan hadn’t pressed the issue and we’d ended up going back to the bedroom to talk while I’d made sure I had everything prepped for my flight. I’d told him I wouldn’t check out of the room so that he and Brennan could use it if they wanted – I’d refused to acknowledge that it was me who wanted them to use it…that I was hoping when I got back from New York, I’d find them waiting there for me.
Tristan had taken things a step further when he’d offered to go down to my house and pick up Tink so my cat wouldn’t have to spend any more time alone. Since I knew the hotel allowed pets, I’d agreed, despite the fact that I never let anyone enter the sanctity of my home when I wasn’t there. And that didn’t even take into account that I was sending a clear message that by agreeing to have my cat with us, it meant I didn’t have an end date in sight for whatever was happening between me and my men.
My men.
I only thought of them that way in the safety of my mind. To the outside world, I wouldn’t have known how to refer to them.
Tristan and I had left the room together and I’d again ended up taking his hand in mine, and I’d held on to it throughout the entire conversation with the hotel’s front desk, asking them to add Brennan and Tristan as authorized guests for my room and getting them a key card. When we’d gotten to the garage where Phoenix had already been waiting to follow Tristan, I hadn’t cared that my team member was watching when I’d leaned down and kissed Tristan sweetly before sending him on his way. The joy in his eyes as he’d kept looking over his shoulder at me while he’d walked to his car had been worth every gut-wrenching moment of fear that had continued to assail me.