Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 118592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 593(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 593(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
“I’ll order us some room service and then we can shower,” Memphis whispered against my lips.
I’d chickened out with the saying I love you, but I wasn’t going to accept things as they were any more either.
“Let’s go eat in the hotel restaurant,” I suggested.
I hadn’t expected Memphis to readily agree, but I’d hoped he think about it for more than two seconds before muttering, “No.”
Memphis climbed off of me and went to the bathroom.
Go big or go home.
Tristan’s words rang in my ears and I knew he was right. I’d never been afraid to take risks and I’d never hidden who I was.
I got up and followed Memphis, not caring that I was naked and covered in my own juices. He was in the process of turning on the shower, but I grabbed his arm before he could step into it. “Is this all it’s going to be?” I asked as I motioned between us.
“We agreed to the rules-”
“Fuck your rules,” I snapped and I inordinately thought of Tristan once again. “It stopped being about your precious rules a long time ago,” I said. I forced myself to soften as I said, “It’s just dinner, Memphis.”
“Then what?” He asked angrily. “Dinner tonight. Maybe lunch tomorrow. Then a movie. Maybe some hand holding. Then the talk about are we boyfriends and where are things going? Then it’s meeting the family-”
“That’s what normal people do in a relationship!” I interrupted.
“Why isn’t this enough for you?” Memphis asked. “Why am I not enough for you?”
His question caught me off guard, though I suspected it wouldn’t have mattered because he continued on without even letting me respond.
“Go ahead, ask me your three questions!” Memphis snapped.
I shook my head in confusion. “I don’t know-”
“Why the rules, Memphis?” Memphis said angrily. “Because without them I’m the one who gets fucked over again!”
“Memphis-” I said quietly in the hopes of diffusing his anger, but he ignored me.
“What do you mean by again, Memphis?” Memphis bit out. “Because the last relationship I was in meant me having to watch the man who supposedly loved me more than life itself fuck every man and woman who caught his eye and then saying it didn’t fucking mean anything because he only loved me!”
I kept silent after that as Memphis continued like I wasn’t even there. “Six fucking years I listened to him tell me that what we had was perfect. Six years of having him bring other people into our bed and insisting it was for us! To make us stronger! Six years of his lies!”
Memphis seemed to struggle to get control of himself. When his breathing slowed, he said, “Will it ever be more than this, Memphis?”
I froze as he asked the very question I’d been wanting to ask him from the moment we’d first been together in that motel back on Whidbey Island.
When he didn’t answer, I whispered, “Will it?”
“This is all I’ve got in me right now, Brennan,” he said quietly as he reached in to test the water. “I’m sorry if that’s not enough, but it’s a hell of a lot more than I ever planned on giving you.”
With that, he climbed into the shower and closed the door. Part of me wanted to lick my wounds and crawl home to Tristan and keep living out the childish fantasy that someday my childhood crush would see me as more than a friend.
But Memphis already saw me that way.
And while I wanted to someday be able to go out in public with him and acknowledge our relationship, he was more than enough for me, just as he was. I reached for the shower door and yanked it open. Memphis glanced at me over his shoulder and when he turned to face me, I stepped against his chest and reached up to pull him to me for a kiss “Sorry,” I whispered against his mouth just before I stole into it. When we came up for air, I let my forehead rest against his as I said, “You’re more than enough for me.”
Memphis released a rush of air and I finally relaxed when his arms went around me. And the words I’d been so afraid to utter before, spilled out of me like water. “I love you, Memphis.”
Chapter Fifteen
Memphis
I hadn’t expected the admission from Brennan. And I hadn’t handled it well.
No, I hadn’t ditched him like I’d wanted to in that moment, but I hadn’t acknowledged the words either. I’d pretended he hadn’t said them and I had no doubt my silence was making him regret the words.
The beautiful, sweet, amazing words that I’d never expected to hear in my lifetime again.
I hadn’t made love to him again, but we’d held on to each other in the shower for an inordinately long time and when he’d led me to bed, I’d gone. I hadn’t managed to sleep, but I hadn’t left his side either, especially since he was snuggled up against it, using my arm as a pillow. It had been nearly a week since Tristan had been attacked and the fuckers had given him seven days to get the money. I’d gotten together all the information I needed to deal with the two assholes and I was planning on doing that tomorrow. After that, I would need to decide what to do about Brennan. He’d said I was enough, but Drake had said that too. Countless times. He’d said it even as he came home smelling of sex. He’d said them after he’d let some guy fuck me while he was fucking the guy. I’d never believed him, though I had wanted to.