Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 65346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Everything about this trip was different. Was it being so far from home that did it? Or was it Benjamin Gold, the guy who could get my heart skipping beats with a smirk and a few blinks of his long lashes?
Not even winks. He didn’t have to wink. Blinks were fine. Anything was fine when it came to Benji. He could chew his toenails off with his teeth and I’d probably still find that attractive about him. I couldn’t explain it exactly—I just felt it, down deep in the center of my chest. Everything about Benji was just right.
Tonight was our last night before going back to the real world, and I wanted to enjoy every second of it.
So I asked Benji if he wanted to spend the night in a tree house that had been built by the owners of the primate sanctuary. Normally it was supposed to be used for events or paid renters, but I managed to sweet-talk my way into borrowing it for the night.
Benji had seemed really excited when I’d brought it up to him. We didn’t want to bring up any questions about the two of us spending the night together, so we agreed to wait until everyone was asleep. We snuck out and made our way to the tree house, climbing up the rickety steps and settling into the large room.
It was built like a studio apartment, as one large room with a comfortable bed and a small couch, along with a tiny dresser and a mirror up against one of the wooden walls. There were windows all around and a glass moonroof that looked up at a star-blotted sky.
I wasn’t sure at exactly what point it was, but we found ourself in the bed, lying down, facing up and looking through the clear glass at the midnight sky.
“I’m never forgetting this trip,” I said, looking over at Benji. “I’ve learned so much. And not just about primate conservation either. I’ve learned a lot about myself.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. A hell of a lot.”
Benji leaned up on the bed. There was only one light in the tree house, but we had turned that off pretty early in the night. There was plenty of light coming in from above to let us see every little detail.
“Like…?”
“Well—” Should have seen that coming. Benji liked to dig. “—just about how I feel with certain things.”
“Okay.” He cocked his head and smiled mischievously. “Like…?”
We both laughed. Benji dropped his head, which made it land in the crook of my arm. He still laughed, but even with the laughter died down, he didn’t move his head.
And my arm remained frozen. Scared that even a twitch of a muscle would scare him off, like some rare butterfly landing on my arm.
“I realized I’m fine without always having working electricity or hot water. I realized I’m not a huge fan of an all-veggie diet. I realized I’m fucking pissed off at the amount of deforestation happening and the effect it’s having on these poor animals.” I took a breath, looking up through the glass. “And, I realized, I’m not straight. Not with the way I feel about you.”
The air seemed to get sucked out of the room. I couldn’t tell if Benji was upset or shocked or angry or happy or—
“I feel the same way, about you. I mean, I’ve known I’m gay for years now, but I’ve also just realized that you and me… we’re a really good match. Like really good.”
“Really fucking good,” I said, laughing in agreement. He had moved closer, his body pressing up against me so that I could feel every curve, every ridge, every twitch.
“We just click,” I said, letting my heart speak instead of my brain. “I feel like I have a blast every single time I’m around you. And everything feels so easy. I think that’s the thing about us. Life just doesn’t seem so hard when you’re around.” I looked away from the stars, into the galaxy of Benji’s gaze.
“It’s the same for me,” he said. “I don’t stress about the stupid stuff when you’re around. And we’re always laughing. And you’re always teaching me something. It just flows.”
“It flows.”
“I’ve been waiting for this,” he said, eyes looking into mine.
“Really?” I asked. It was a surprise to me. We’d been flirty through this trip, for sure, but I hadn’t known he felt anything before now.
Like I had.
“Yeah.” He chewed on his bottom lip. “I just figured you were pretty much off-limits. I thought, you know, you were straight. And you’re Mav’s best friend. I always had my eyes on you, but it was more a fantasy than anything else.”
“Damn,” I said, “and I’d been fantasizing about you, too.”
“So much wasted time.”
“Think we can make up for some of it?”
Benji nodded, his smile turning into a wicked grin that lit a bonfire, flames spreading through my veins.