Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 65346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
“Hey, sorry, do you know where my dad is?”
“Yeah, he was outside in the backyard the last time I saw him.”
“Got it, thank you.”
I turned to leave, but something came over me. A burning urge that would surely come back to bite me with the force of a scorching inferno.
“I’m assuming the tape’s already gotten to you guys.” It sounded like someone else was speaking. I barely recognized my own voice or the words that came out. “Has my dad’s chances taken a big hit?”
She adjusted her twists, throwing them over her shoulder. Her eyes told me the answer before she even spoke. “A little bit. But that’s okay. I’m so sorry this even happened to you.” Her eyebrows rose. “Oh, there he is!”
I turned, spotting my dad a few seconds before he spotted me.
Almost a year had passed since I’d last seen him. He hadn’t changed much in that time. Still had the thick head of silvery gray hair, with a tall and imposing presence, always able to soften it with a crinkly eyed smiled. We both had the same light blue eyes and a similar build.
There were a lot of things my dad and I had that were similar, but it was what was different between us that drove the wedge.
“Dad.”
“Rex.”
He came over to me, and before I could even say anything else, he hugged me.
I froze, not reacting. I didn’t expect this kind of reception right off the bat. This was the man who had potentially caused a six-year rift between me and the man of my dreams. He cut me off when the threats on the sex tape first started rolling in, arguably when I needed him the most. I’d been pushed away, left to defenses I wasn’t sure I had.
But I did have them. And I’d made it through. The sex tape leaked and I was still standing, still breathing. Everything would be okay.
Even this.
I returned the hug, feeling my dad exhale in relief.
“Thank you for coming, son.” He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I saw so much of myself in his eyes, it almost scared me.
I also saw something else. A sadness dragged his gaze down, heavy bags under his eyes revealing an exhaustion that went past one or two nights of bad sleep.
“Come, let’s go into my office.”
I followed my dad through an emptying living room. The couch was barely visible behind the stack of cardboard boxes, all labeled with thick black marker in a hasty script on loosely taped labels.
“You guys moving out?” I asked.
“I’m not.”
I looked to him in surprise.
“Come inside, I’ll explain.”
He opened the door into his office, a room I’d always found to be a cozy and homey escape. I remembered being a little kid and sneaking into his office just so I could play my Game Boy on his big comfortable leather chair, next to the window that looked out onto the vegetable garden in the backyard.
The office remained the same as it had all those years ago, with the same leather chair propped against the corner of the wall, next to the round porthole window that had been the catalyst to so many of my daydreams as a kid.
I went straight for the chair and sat, the leather cushion feeling like memory foam as it hugged me like it had all those years ago. My dad stood, leaning on his desk, his arms crossed. He wore a simple gray T-shirt that could use a pass or two under a steamer, and a pair of equally wrinkled jeans.
That was also pretty atypical of my dad, who normally wore pressed suits and tailored polos everywhere he went.
“So,” I started. “A lot’s happened…”
“Rex, you don’t have to explain anything about that tape.”
“I know, but I feel like I need to apologize? I don’t know—”
“No, no. That’s not why I called you here. I don’t ever want to hear you apologize for being violated the way you were. You were a victim, Rex. A sorry should never come from your mouth.” He rubbed the back of his neck, gaze dropping again. “Me, on the other hand.” He lifted his eyes back to mine. “I’m the one who needs to apologize. I’m so sorry, Rex. I failed you as a father, and I’m so desperately sorry for that.”
“Dad, you didn’t fail me. Just because I’m bi—”
“That’s not what I mean. I failed you by not being there when you needed me the most. I should have dropped everything and flown out to New York as soon as the threat landed in my email. I should have been there for you, my own son. And I failed.”
“Dad—”
“Not only did I fail, but I was lying the entire time. Living a fabricated self, destroying my own flesh and blood in the process.”