Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 65346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
This was the start of that process.
“I’m all ears,” he said, shifting on the bench so he faced me. Behind us was the home we were staying at, the sounds of laughter coming from one of the open windows.
“First, I wanted to say thank you, for being a good friend. Mav is my best friend, but you might be my favorite Gold brother, for sure.”
He laughed at that, his cheeks a brighter shade of red.
“Don’t tell him I said that.”
“I won’t.”
Deep breath. This was it.
“You and I, we click really well. I don’t think I’m the only one who’s noticed—”
“You’re not.”
“And it’s gotten me thinking, a lot. About, well, about—”
“Rex! Benj! What are you two doing over here? We’re about to head down to the beach. Come on.”
It was Maverick, walking over in his white board shorts and a beach towel thrown over his shoulder.
I’d never been more disappointed at seeing my best friend. Benji shot me a look and then, under his breath, said, “We’ll talk later?”
“Sounds good,” I answered, unsure if I’d even have the courage to bring it up again.
From somewhere up in the trees, Sammy the capuchin monkey finished up her apple and let it drop, the core falling off my head and bouncing to the ground.
15
Benjamin Gold
I hurried to help pick up the fallen vegetables. Our heads almost bumped together in that dumb rom-com way that would have made me roll my eyes while wishing it was our lips bumping together.
Jeez. Five seconds in my space and I’m already back to fantasizing about him.
“Thanks, Benj.” Rex said, holding an armful of veggies. He looked real good today, with his beard trimmed up and his hair swooping to the side, his bright blue eyes catching the sun like they were tiny gemstones. They matched with the sky blue of his shirt and the light blue of his jeans.
It also didn’t hurt that blue happened to be my favorite color.
“These for the horses?” I asked, nodding toward the stables.
“Mostly. Some of it is going to the nursery.”
“Gotcha,” I said.
“How’ve you been, stranger?” Rex said as I started walking back toward the stables. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”
“So dramatic.” I rolled my eyes and smiled. “It’s only been sixty-five years and three days.” I feigned my back giving out. If Rex was going to tease me, I might as well play along. I’d already made a big enough fool of myself around him; a little more foolishness wouldn’t hurt anyone.
“You look great for being sixty-something. What’s your skincare routine?”
“Lots of tears and pizza grease.”
“Sounds right up my alley.”
“Oh, and a dash of cumin.”
“Excuse me?”
“Cumin. The spice.” I shot him a smirk. “Along with some come.”
Rex snorted at that. I laughed along with him, feeling a spark of normalcy run through me again. This felt like the old days, when Rex and I would bust our stomachs laughing over the stupidest shit.
It was nice. Really nice.
We joked around some more, the tension I expected to feel around him completely nonexistent. I realized I had been avoiding Rex for no good reason. So what if I’d asked him to be my boyfriend out of the blue? So what if I’d curled up into a ball of fatalistic embarrassment that night and the nights that followed?
It helped that the convo with my brother had lifted my spirits, or I may have been running the opposite way when I saw Rex coming out of the house.
But my talk with Dusty helped shift things in the right direction, and I could feel my mood lifting because of it. Nothing had been cured, and there was still work to do, but just saying “yes” to his question about whether or not I was depressed, that was a huge step for me. I had been scared to admit it for some reason, that yes, I could be depressed and that I needed to see someone about it because… it was just scary. There was still such a stigma over mental health, and that stigma unnecessarily stalled me from accepting the truth and possibly dealing with my depression earlier.
We were standing next to Electra’s pen with a bag of carrots, talking about a recent reality show blowup, when I could see Rex’s eyes light up with some kind of crazy idea.
“What?” I asked, following his gaze. He was looking at the saddles hanging up on the wall of the stable.
“Let’s go for a ride.”
“On horseback?”
“Was there another choice?” he asked, the half-cocked smile of his telling me exactly what he meant.
I walked over to the saddles. My plan for the day had been to lock myself up in my room and watch old episodes of Family Guy, but this did sound like it could be fun. I hadn’t gone horseback riding in close to a year, and there was a trail that wrapped around the sanctuary which had been one of my favorite places to be on a sunny weekend.