Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 73663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“I wanted to be something for you at least. Maybe not a dad, but more than an older brother.”
“I know, Renzo. You were the best of them.” She hugs herself. “There’s nothing you can do about it. I know you want to fix everything, but some things you can’t fix. You can’t talk these feelings away. You can’t put a bullet in their head. I just have to live with it. Mom was a shitty parent, and I had an ugly reaction when I saw her being nice to Maddie, because I want her to be nice to me. Her own daughter. But that’ll never happen.”
I could say she’s wrong. I could say that she might have a good moment or two with Mom still. But it would be a lie.
Stefania’s right. Mom’s not going to get better, and their relationship was never good to begin with. It’s terrible, but I can completely understand why she’d have the reaction she did earlier, and I don’t blame her for it.
“No matter what happens with Mom, you’ll always have me. I’ll always be here for you.”
“I know that.” She hops off the ledge and sits next to me. “I’ll apologize to Maddie.”
“You will?” My eyebrows raise. “That’s a first.”
“Oh, shut up.” She smiles a little. “I used to say sorry all the time.”
“No, you used to kick me in the shins and tell me to shut the hell up. I don’t think you ever used the word sorry once in your life.”
She nudges me with her elbow. “I’m growing, okay? I’m a mature young lady now.”
“Disgusting. What are they teaching you at that school?”
“Liberal propaganda. Rotting my mind.”
I laugh and push myself to my feet. “Don’t worry about Maddie, okay?”
“She’s a good one, you know.”
I pause before I reach the door and look back. “You think so?”
“Definitely. Despite my reaction earlier, I really like her.”
“I like her too.”
“Is she going to stick around? Be honest with me.”
I cock my head. Only Saul knows about my deal with Maddie. I could never tell Stefania. Not that I don’t trust her, only that I try to keep her in the dark about Famiglia business as much as I can, for her own safety.
“I’d like it if she did.” That’s the best I can do, and it’s the truth. “How long are you going to stay here?”
“Probably just for tonight. Want to get dinner? Bring Maddie. I can grovel over good wine.”
“That’s a plan.”
“Love you, Ren. I know this is all fucked up, but you’re doing a good job.”
I tighten my jaw. I don’t feel like I’m doing a good job at all. No, it feels like everything’s walking a tightrope and if I’m not careful, my entire life will spill out into the void.
But it isn’t only myself that’ll suffer if I fuck up.
Too many people depend on me.
My Capos, my soldiers, my brothers and sister and mother.
Now Maddie, and soon, our baby.
I can carry the world on my shoulders.
It’s just a question of how long.
Chapter 27
Renzo
We spend a good weekend with Stefania. She really gets along great with Maddie, despite that early hiccup. Even Mom seems better—or at least her bad nights aren’t as bad as they have been. Come Monday though, it’s back to work.
“Your sister’s really smart,” Maddie says on the car ride over. “UPenn? Studying international finance? That’s some serious stuff.”
“She wants to be the Famiglia’s brains one day.”
“I’m not surprised at all. She’s definitely smarter than you.”
I shoot my wife a look. She’s not wrong, but it isn’t polite to say it out loud. “The organization has been stagnant for a few years now. Part of our plans are an overseas expansion. Stef wants to run it.”
“Expansion into what?”
“Casinos and resorts most likely. It all depends on what the brains thinks is best. I’ve been making contacts with families in the UK and laying some groundwork though.”
“You do too much.” She puts a hand on my knee, shaking her head. “Do you ever take a break?”
“If I don’t do it, nobody will.” I lean across the seat and kiss her cheek. “Besides, I have you now. If you keep it up, I’ll have to promote you to director of operations.”
“Director of operations… of what?”
“Whatever The Fuck Renzo Wants. I think that’ll be your department’s official title.”
She rolls her eyes and laughs as I kiss her neck.
We reach the office and she heads for her desk with a quick parting kiss. We’re not hiding our relationship anymore—half the people in the office are part of the Famiglia, which means they’d all find out no matter what—but it’s better if we don’t rub it in their faces. I make it into my office, drink a cup of coffee, respond to a few emails, and start to settle in for the day when my secretary buzzes.